Fortress Lilliput

Show is on the Road Again

2009-12-05T12:27:00.003Z

We are at home to our old friends and neighbours Congleton. KO 2.15pm Nice and wet, windy and muddy.

Match report to follow.

End of the Road? Or a New Begining?

2009-11-10T21:50:00.002Z

Despite the valiant efforts of all and sundry, the decision to withdraw the First XV from the National Leagues has resulted in the Miller Homes League commitee chucking the thirds and the seconds out of their respective divisions. Thanks Guys!

The good news is that we can still honour the fixtures that were arranged. Crewe have agreed to play on Saturday so we have a home game KO 2.30pm. Better make sure we get a team out then. Texts have been sent out. Please reply ASAP.

Buxton 12 Bowdon 40

2009-11-04T19:27:00.001Z

Apologies for not getting the match report in the paper. I did not really stand a chance as I could not even get the score right. I texted 37-12 to the Miller Holmes League, and not 40-12. We will be fined £10,000 and have to wear ladies clothing for the next 3 home games Oh yes and be deducted 20 points. (Rule 567 para12 sub para 12b.)
It was a stirring performance against Bowdon and if, there is always an if in a third team match report, they had not gone uncontested with 20 minutes to go, who knows. It was only 19-12 at that point after all.
It was great to see Gytie back on the field and to see that he has lost none of his impact. There are a few bruised and battered rib cages down Bowdon way I shouldn’t wonder. With Tidser thundering into their defence it was quite like old times. Good to see some of the U17’s back (They were all over 17!) Getting a bit of proper rugby before heading back to their winning ways in their league.
Two good tries, Simeon’s had a touch of individual skill whereas Big Birds and the hand of Gytes was just a good old fashioned forward effort.
Impressive defence from Dave T of Monk’s bar. We will have to have a spell that surname competition at the next court. Talking of which, I hope no one was ill afterwards? Good to see Jimbo and Mr Proctor back as well!
Buxton 3rds were
Gytie, Simon, Tidser, Tay, Bird, Simeon, Keiran, TC, Phil P, Fish, HG, Eddy, Ant, Jack, Kyle, James “the Bitch”, Dave T.

Third team Photo

2009-11-01T19:19:00.004Z

The fine body of men that put their bodies on the line against Bowdon Thirds on Saturday. They lost 40-12 but were magnificent in defeat.

Its Not Over Till The Fat Lady Sings

2009-10-24T20:47:00.005Z

But we are getting very close. Having had to concede three games we are very much on the edge. So we need to play our home fixture on 31st October or else that's it for the league this year.

So we need as many as we can for Saturday. I will be sending a text on Sunday to all those eligible. No excuses, lets get a team out and make it a memorable Saturday. If this is to be our last game then lets go out in a blaze of glory.

Last Saturday

2009-09-24T20:24:00.003Z

Apologies for not getting a match report in the paper. To be honest I forgot! Despite the loss 86-27 (it was always going to to a struggle with 12 playing 11 and me as one of the backs!) I thought the second half was awesome. We showed that we can play serious rugby and as some of their players said if it had been 15 v15 they would have been worried (and beaten). Well we can make them very worried and beat them when they come up to Buxton for the return game. We all played well but special mentions go to TC for some great full back play (especially as he was our one and only back row forward) Fish who was outstanding at standoff, Tony Austin for battering them all afternoon, Jason for turning up for us when you could have had the afternoon off, and Geoff for keeping a cool head. (I'll forget the hospital pass you gave me!)

We do need to get a 15 out, especially as we are at home, but also because we can play some good rugby and start winning. So if you know anyone who has at anytime expressed even the slightest interest in playing rugby let me know and we will arrange to kidnap them on a saturday afternoon.

The Third XV who were XI were:

Jason Meir, Andy Uprichard, Dan Rose, James "Big Bird" Cavanagh, Tony Austin,Tim Charles, Geoff Ritchie, Martin Fisher, Paul Taylor, Ian Sanderson, Simon Fussell (c)

Moment of the match Tays try, I'm not sure he still believes he scored. Close second was the look of relief on the Skippers face when he realised that the side warming up were not our opponents but a Welsh Touring side.

Mylcreest Cup 2 (Because we beat them the first time)

2009-07-30T07:12:00.003Z

Having a re-run as a bit of a pre-season taster. Just to confirm, £5 per ticket, this includes bbq, live band and transport to and from Sunnyfields to Buxton Market Place and Wetherspoons. Steve Edge will have tickets available August 1st. You can get Steve on 07999650441. Kick off time will be confirmed shortly.

There will be two games. The Firsts and a Second XV. To be selected you have to go training. I appreciate some of us are injured but as there is a good coaching set up there now, in addition to Denny, Marcus Saville, John Baker Pearce and our very own Benno will be there. Training is still on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 7.00pm up at the Club. Craig our VC is going so lets see if a few of us can join him.

Simon

The big smoke

2009-03-18T21:16:00.002Z

A few of us went down to London to watch england destroy France!! Thanks to Budgie for the great hotel and the river cruise. A good time was had by all but a question, who came out with this famous saying? "Is the Pope Irish"!!
Also who's lady friend exclaimed with a full mouth "its a long time since I had a black one"!!
Drink in London can put all but the determined drinker of by its price but after going to Limerick it seemed quite resonable!
Photos might follow

Thirds Battle to Victory

2009-03-14T20:05:00.001Z

Buxton 3rd XV 12 v Burnage XV 5

And we should be off the bottom as OB's conceeded. Sandbach got stuffed 80 odd 0. Great result. Match report to follow.

Buxton Thirds tough out a win.

2009-03-14T19:34:00.005Z

Buxton 3rd XV 12 v Burnage 5

After the battling performance in defeat against third placed side Marple last week the thirds picked up where they left off and won a hard fought and at times niggly affair at a windy Sunny fields. Again calls from the two's and calls to go off shopping meant that there were more new faces to fit in, but skipper Allen is practised at bringing players together at short notice and it was the team spirit,pride and desire to win that brought them through to victory. Helped by an influx of youth that gave the team some pace out wide and of course the hard core of experienced (old) forwards it was a proved to be winning blend.

After a frenetic opening few minutes the match settled down with Buxton using the elements to probe the corners. Allen leading from the front and with Chapman taking the ball round the fringes Buxton began to build a platform. Burton and Woodward were in support, keeping moves going and MaDonald and Rose provided solid targets. Buxton opened the scoring after twenty minutes. The forwards took the ball deep into the Burnage twenty two and a series of drives saw first Chapman and then Allen making the hard yards before Ritchie flicked the ball out to the waiting backs. Nichols with options outside dummied and drifted past his marker to score under the posts, with Kyle Mellor converting. With their confidence rising Buxton maintained the pressure. With the line out functioning well, Woodward taking plenty of the opposition ball, the thirds were dominating territory. A break from Taylor found Fussell in support and he drove for the line with the rest of the forwards piling in.The move was stopped just short of the line but the ball was recycled quickly and Woodward blasted over from short range to extend the lead. A lapse in concentration just before half time gifted Burnage a soft try and with the elements against them in the second half 12- 5 seemed a slender lead and scant reward for their first half efforts.

The second half saw a titanic battle as Burnage used the wind to drive Buxton back into their own twenty two. Rose and Allen lead the way defensively organising the forwards and the Burnage attacking tide was stopped and turned back. Frustration on both sides saw a rash of penalties and some in discipline by Buxton gave away vital possession and territory on a number of occasions. The battle up front eventually took its toll with Burnage having to concede uncontested scrums for the final twenty minutes and with their superior fitness, Buxton began to win the battle of the breakdown with the flying Gyte forcing errors on the ground and snapping up anything loose. As Burnage tired Buxton's backs turned defense into attack. Gardin and Purvis combined to open space and the youthful enthusiasm of Jack Smith and Bradley Burton on the wings was blunted only by last ditch tackles. With five minutes to go the forwards took charge again and controlled the ball through a series of phases until with the forty minutes up Nichols kicked the ball dead and the thirds could celebrate a hard won and well deserved victory that should lift them off the bottom of the league.

Buxton were:
McDonald (Chapman 40m), Fussell, Rose, Woodward,Burton, Allen, Chapman (Gyte 40m), Taylor,
Ritchie, Nichols, Smith, Gardin, Purvis, Mellor, Gyte (B Burton)

Old Bedians 3rd xv 5 Buxton 3rd xv10

2009-02-18T22:38:00.002Z

Ali Bearman reports on a classic win for the Thirds, that lifts them off the bottom

Another lacklustre start from Buxton left the visitors with some desperate early defending against the Didsbury side. Crucially for the first time this season, Buxton’s line held with Rob Burton and Seth Jardin making their presence felt with ferocious hits on their opposite numbers and through the boot of Gaz Nicholls started to win the territorial battle. Buxton’s tight five was gradually gaining the upperhand in the scrummage and a soaring Matt Woodward was dominant in the line out.

2 five metre scrums were squandered by the Buxton side, but eventually a more patient approach paid dividends with Dan Rose crashing over from close range in the corner.

Unfortunately Buxton started the 2nd half poorly and Bedians were soon back on equal terms. Skipper Chris Allen rallied his men by running some short tap penalties straight at the opposition. A galvanised Buxton pack started to control the football and Paul Storer was prominent in driving the visitors relentlessly upfield. Uncontested scrums followed a Buxton scrum taking apart the home sides front row. Tom Edge and Tony Austin relieved of their set piece duties, took turns to burst through the midfield, deftly fed by Phil Preece’s relentlessly accurate service.

For long periods it looked like for all Buxton’s dominance, that they would not be able to put the game away. However a sweeping move which involved most of the side culminated in a wrapped up Craig Chapman managing to free his arms at the crucial moment to feed a rampaging Ali Bearman at full tilt, who bulldozed his way over the line for what was to be the decisive score.

Bedians, unwilling to take on an aggresive Buxton defence resorted to a kicking game. Buxton’s back 3 of Chris Ford, Geoff Ritchie and Mr Versality Tim Charles, proceeded to run the ball back with interest, and Buxton were camping on the visitors line when time ran out.

Buxton,
Bearman, Edge, Austin, Woodward, Rose, Allen, Chapman, Woodward, Preece, Ford,Nicholls, Burton,Jardin,Ritchie,Armitage

The Parisian Sale Part 3, ‘The Munster Crunch’

2009-01-30T21:25:00.001Z

Forget the ‘Credit Crunch’ the famous five were off again. Or are we to be ‘The Magnificent 7’, or as one of the five said ‘If we are to be 7 then I will make it 6’ end quote.

Number 1 Georgie Best

I have to say at that it is very difficult for the writer to name who made this quote or any of the quotes referred to in this report. Some are very serious and could lead to unknown repercussions.

The writer has therefore chosen not to name and shame any member of this illustrious group.

Number 2 Georgie Best

It should also be said that the writer was never recorded as having said anything controversial, as is his way.

So the intrepid quintet journey on again following a team that couldn’t destroy the Green and Whites in ’79, and thus giving the writer his 15 minutes of fame. [Andy Warhol 1968]
So what chance had they got at turning over the might of Munster.

Number 3 Georgie Best

We were to start as always with a beer, and as always Tidz got one and we all missed out, again.
A 10.15 start from Spoons seemed fine but our driver had a crucial meeting at nine and was doubtful, but assured everyone that he would be there by eleven.

Number 4 Georgie Best

As is always the case a proven tourer [the driver] is there on time and the rest are late. Except Tidz, cos the bar was open!
A pretty quick journey down to Birmingham. The driver showed remarkable skills in getting everyone there without a problem. The toll road was brilliant, we spent £4 to travel 450m on it. Thanks Tidz.

The airport was a dream with the tour organizer checking us in online the day before, thanks for that Steve. He also told everyone about the size of any canisters that were allowed through customs, except Phil.

Number 5 Georgie Best

Phil argued that the shaving foam was not a liquid and therefore exempt. It wouldn’t have been too bad but the tin was nearly as big as Phil. Never mind he can borrow some of the writers.

At this point I just want to remind everyone that no names have been assigned to the quotes, to protect the guilty. Well not all of them as I am feeling a little mischievous as I write this.

Number 6 Georgie Best

One of our parties partners commented on his shirt. [ a Sale one] and said ‘That’s a nice shirt, where did you get that? If I’d known you were taking it I would have washed and ironed it for you’. There will be trouble ahead.

At the airport we met lots of guys and gals we had met before on our travels, some of whom are now good friends. Oh and we met Wayne and Balloo and the Sara’s [2]

Number 7 Georgie Best

It should be said that WD never let go of Sara, where as Balloo was not seen holding hands at all. However it was good to see the girls and we enjoyed their company.

That boring b-----d from Bakewell and the wife with the big arse, who said that?

‘Take your bag with you said one of our number. He can’t said another, does anyone know why he can’t?

Now as you all know rugby players are fit and agile, can side step a herd of elephants and drive their way to the front of any queue, as long as it is for beer.

Number 8 Georgie Best

However walking down the walk way to the plane is a completely different matter as the 5 [or is it 7 or 6?] know to their cost. Or at least one of the groups embarrassment.
It should be said that I have never seen this guy fall as quick in his life before.

The book was out before he hit the ground. Good old scribe.

We are well travelled now on our little tours. We have all learned to wear the best of kit. However one of our number decided to take his Hi-Tec walking boots and socks.

Number 9 Georgie Best

They were he said very comfortable but the high uppers of the boots were chaffing his groin. Guess who.

Now as you all know we select bed partners by dealing the cards, can’t wait for London.

As the draw was made and it was clear who the ‘2’ were to be, questions were being asked.
One of the ‘2’ said ‘My dogs lick my feet, will you do the same’. The second of the ‘2’ said clearly No. There was no violence at this point, honest.

Number 10 Georgie Best

Later as you will hear the licking comments came thick and fast.

I am worried about loosing my money, where should I keep my money’ was a silly question. On these tours you just give it all to Tidz and you never see it again. No problem.

We have excellent accommodation, unfortunately the whole of the Munster team are there as well. We are the only Sale supporters to be seen. A bit like New Zealand, oh sorry you didn’t go did you Phil.

Number 11 Georgie Best

The safest form of transport I am told is the lift. I agree now. As we all piled into the lift things looked good, a bit tight but good. However the voice wasn’t impressed. ‘Who ever got in last then can you please get out, and if its you Tidz, you should know better’. How did it know?

On trips like this sometimes you need to kill a little time, but suggesting Snakes and Ladders is well out of order. Who was that?

The same man was guilty of not arranging the toast at the airport. We need to deal with this, as he was the one who started the toast tradition.

It should also be noted that the same man fell asleep before our resident sleeper!

As we all know one of the group has a caravan, another has a ‘Luuuuuv Mobile’ but what about the one with the camping fetish?

Yes one of our members has bought a complete kitchen kit for the amateur chef who likes the outdoor life. He says he needs to be out in the open to ‘get it up’; god knows what he was talking about then. Oh and he has an annexe for, yes you’ve guessed his dogs.

We were to travel to Cork for a day out but our resident Shrek didn’t think they would sell Guinness there. Get him in the book, owie.

Having been allocated a room with 2 of my colleagues it was good to see we had 3 beds, one each. Or was it. I came home one night to find one of our number [the small one] hiding in the safe. Why?

If you went to Benidorm you may recall this guy slept in the wrong hotel. Not here. Here he just tried to get in other peoples rooms. Hence he could only feel safe in the safe.

Gyte is proud of his family. He showed photos of his sons grandchildren to everyone. Think about it.

And yes it happened the camper tipped drink into the little fellas drink, cos he was full up.

Speaking of full up what about this. I have heard that when you are drunk you imagine things. I can’t say whom but he went home early ‘when the shutters came down’.

He was found by the police on what he called ‘his magic roundabout’. When asked to move on he replied I can’t who will look after Florence. The officers assessed the situation. After a short discussion they decided to let him go on alone, as having to carry him would have caused them a hernia or two.

This needs to be noted and names will not be spared.
TC and SG discussed the quality of the hotel toilet paper for nearly 20 minutes. It was quilted and was great for dabbing. Whats dabbing?

Two of the group were on the floor looking for a card and one said to the other’ We look like 2 old men’. What do you mean look like!

Problems come in all shapes and sizes and most on this trip emanated from a small person, this is no exception. How can anyone put their watch on back to front and still tell the time. Well he can’t.

I believe he has patented the idea of an upside down watch. Watch this space.

Phil was very interested in the habits of Tims dogs and wondered if everyone benefited from their antics.

Usually the pet pines for its master, but not up Harpur it’s the reverse.

I think at this time Tim should be thanked publicly for inserting ‘the applicator’ when Tidz couldn’t reach. Well-done Tim.

Money and exchange rates confuse lots of people, we are no exceptions. However when the question was asked ‘Is a twenty worth more then a fifty?’ this has to go down as the worst statement ever. I sometimes wonder if there were schools in Eccles?

Now we have all seen the urinals at different levels in the gents, but have you ever seen anything like this. One of our group was caught resting his member on the lip of the urinal, not so bad you might think but it was the kids urinal because he couldn’t reach the big boys one.

There are many ways of choosing a breakfast but when the choice was down to who was the friendliest waitress. They both were effective, polite, courteous and quick. So how could we choose, easy said Tidz we will eat where the ‘Chubby Chaser’ works.

The hotel was as usual upto the standards that we have come to accept from our tour operator, so for that thanks. However our operator was left with a bit of a bath time problem. Showing Tidz how to use the bathing facilities was, he thought his duty as tour operator.
However putting the non=slip mat in the bath proved a problem when both his feet became stuck to the mat. It took 3 of us to separate him from his mat. Well-done TC.

The trip was, as always a great success and great fun. We met friends from nearby towns, ex opposition players and the regular supporter as well.

We did on this occasion meet a Buxtonian hotelier who was born in Limerick. Having arranged to meet us prior to the game, he was there with his family and friends but no money!

So we plied him with drink and company and as a reward we were invited to meet the players in the bar afterwards. As in Italy, our hopes were dashed and we never saw him again that night.

We did arrange to meet the next day and travel out to a couple of country pubs. He duly arrived, bought himself a couple of drinks or so got pissed and left.

Not to worry, he was coming back tomorrow to take us to the point to point. We’re still waiting. When is tomorrow. I guess we all only ever have one in our lives.

This to me was as good as it gets, thanks to one and all.

With friends like these---------------------------------------

Close but no cigar (YET!)

2009-01-24T21:16:00.002Z

Carrington 21 Buxton 12

With the skipper and his trusty loose head lieutenant exiled to the murky wastes of the seconds and the Midlands, the thirds travelled (with no problems on the way at all) to Carrington. Arriving with thirteen players ECMC was greeted by the news that an elderly, short, but highly experienced scrum half was on his way to their aid closely followed by Ewan, Jason, Jacko, Dan, Gytie (young and fast) Ryan and Paul. All the thirds had to do was to hold out until the cavalry arrived. Ex Captain My Captain explained patiently in his pre match speech about the need for focus and intent and wanting it more and as he reached his peroration expounded the simple truth, not to let the other chaps score first, or first and second. Ten minutes in and the thirds were 14 -0 down. Need I say more. Then of course we woke up and with a little help from the cavalry took the game to Carrington. We played some excellent rugby, the support was, well there, and to be honest it hasn't always been this season. There was continuity and determination. We should have scored before half time as we battered at their try line, but some well organised and aggressive defense held us out by inches. We won the second half! But the damage had been done in those first ten minutes, and how many times has that happened this season?

Full match report to follow, but despite the score line a fucking excellent performance. Next week we win!

Crap!

2009-01-19T17:42:00.001Z

Buxton 0 Aldwinians 56

After all the progress in the run up to Christmas and a magnificent defeat to Wilmslow 15-7 in the last match of the year, the Thirds were expecting to build on the momentum and deliver if not a victory then at least a stirring performance on Saturday away to Aldwinians. It was not to be. Just as the skippers SatNav (CrapNav) was way off target, so the Thirds managed to collectivley and individually produce their worst performance of the season. At times the tackling was non existence as the Aldwinian centres carved up space and allowed their speedy fullback to roam at will. Buxtons much vaunted pack struggled to find their form and the line out stuttered along inconsistently. With little possession to work with it was a long hard afternoon. Aldwinians still stung by their defeat at the end of last season and harbouring a collective feeling of ill will towards the Thirds, started in combative fashion.Dan Gyte making his first start at 10 was on the receiving end of treatment in the opening five minutes and nursed a leg injury for the rest of the match, bravely carrying on. Jack stepping up for his first taste of senior rugby put in a brave performance on the wing and there was a brief glimpse of the pre holiday thirds for the fifteen minutes before half time when they managed to put together some moves and secured possession to create some scoring chances. They were not converted and as the second half began with an Aldwinian try it was going to be a long second half.

What lessons can be learn't? Well if its an away game then we need at least thirty minutes to get warmed up properly and run through some moves. But more importantly we need some self belief and self confidence. It seems sometimes that we are beaten before we take to the field. It did not help only having 15 players but the reality is that we will be going away again this season with a bare 15. We need to start believing in ourselves individually and as a team. When we ran at them we knocked them back. I doubt we will play as badley again but that is little comfort, and we will need to be focused and full of self belief as we have to beat Carrington this coming weekend. And its away. And will someone please get rid of the skippers satnav.

Buxton Thirds were.

Bearman, Fussell, Austin, Taylor, Burton, Allen, Rabbitts, Chapman, Ritchie, Gyte, Jack, Edge, Ford, Purvis, Gardin.

Great Shopping Tips from Fortress Lilliput No 69

2008-12-07T09:46:00.004Z

If you're struggling to find that perfect little Christmas gift for someone special in your life (you of course!) then have a look at the Canadian Women's Rugby Team Calendar. What better way to ease those ache and pains after a particularly hard training session? Can't think of one.

Spot the odd one out!

2008-12-02T07:41:00.000Z

Thirds freeze as victory beckons

2008-12-01T08:11:00.003Z

Buxton Thirds 0, Sandbach 10

Buxton travelled to a foggy and frosty Sandbach hoping to kick start their season with a win. In a desperately close game they lost narrowly to tries at the start and the end of the game, but won enough possession and had enough territory and chances to have taken the points themselves. The Thirds took to the field wearing the new shirts sponsored by Simply Thai, full of intent. The opening exchanges were hard fought with Buxton's man of the match Ford producing a shuddering tackle, but Sandbach worked themselves in to a strong attacking position and with the Buxton defence lacking precision them breached it to cross the line. Stung by that Buxton went up a gear. With Woodward winning plenty of possession at the lineout there was plenty of possession to work with and Bennison exploited the space to make a series of breaks. Chapman Charles and Allen supported the breaks but the subsequent phases produced slow ball and the game became bogged down in a series of scrums. The front row of Bearman, Fussell and Austin were becoming more and more dominant but handling errors cost Buxton scoring opportunities. A searing break from Bennison tore open the Sandbach defence, as he glided down the wing with Ritchie and Gardin in support he backed himself and appeared to have scored in the corner, only for the eagled eyed referee to disallow it for not grounding the ball.Buxton continued to take the attack to Sandbach, a series of kickable penalties were shunned in favour of lineouts but despite the possession the Thirds could not breach the Sandbach line. Always looking to counter Buxton had to be alert to the threat and Preece and Graham organsied the defence effectively and Rose produced a series of big hits before going off injured to be replaced by Cavanagh.

The second half saw more of the same. Increasingly Buxton were dominating the set pieces but Sandbach looked more effective in the loose. With Gyte on the field the intensity of the tackles went up and some excellent defence repulsed a series of Sandbach attacks close to the line. As the clock ticked away the pressure and tension spilled over. Stratford and Preece combined well and the ball was moved to the backs with increasing desparation. Dawson threatened with half breaks but these came to nothing as dropped passes and slow ball stifled attacking options. With the final scrum of the game Buxton drove the Sandbach eight back ten metres but as the ball spilled out Sandbach got the ball away and ran sixty metres to score in the corner despite the efforts of Purvis and Burton. It was a disappointing end to a game that the Thirds could so easily have won but a failure to maintain pressure at key moments and to nail their chances cost them the game.

Bearman, Fussell, Austin, Woodward, Rose, Charles, Allen, Chapman, Preece, Bennison, Ritchie, Burton, Graham, Ford, Gardin, Cavanagh, Gyte, Stratford,Dawson, Purvis.

Apres Match

MOTM Chris Ford

Next week we are at home to Congleton. We know what we need to do. Chris will send texts later in the week so let him know when you are available ASAP.

Buxton 10 Burnage 38 and a big thank you from your stand in skipper

2008-11-22T19:55:00.005Z

There was a moment during the first half when they had scored their third try and we were resembling the village of the dammed that I had an overwhelming urge to run away. (Well okay limp pathetically and collapse on the touchline)We had players lying around all over the place, Johnnies leg was gashed open and his knee looked like a balloon, Tay was writhing on the ground (though Lizzie says he does this a lot) Rob had a nasty head wound, Tom had undergone major reconstructive surgery, Ali B was being brave about his hamstrings, (have I mentioned my Groin?) It could have turned into a farce. Instead we do what we know we can do. Put a brave face on it and battle away regardless of what the opposition can throw at us. Only there were moments today when we looked really good and had them flailing around on the back foot, as we off loaded the ball out of contact and supported each other. Some of the tackling was poor but some of it (stand up Chris Ford and Dan Rose) was bone jarring. We are not far off being a descent side. Seriously if we can get to training on a Thursday and put a couple of things together it will make a big difference. Remember last season and how a few simple things turned the season round. So thanks for the past couple of weeks,lets make it a winning return for Chris, and get the season back on track.

For what its worth my MOTM was Geoff. You have a difficult job to do on the wing and you do it better with every game. And you also got wound up and put it to effective use. (Good captaincy?)

By the way don't miss Ali Bearmans lectures on "Why sat nav is crap and all you need to do is follow my directions for getting to and leaving Burnage RUFC" Its riveting stuff especially when you are behind him, oh no your're in front of him now!

How to get to Burnage

2008-11-18T22:34:00.001Z

Link to directions to Burnage RUFC

Click Here

Saturday's Result

2008-11-17T09:05:00.001Z

Buxton Thirds 0 Hope Valley A few more than us. If anyone knows the final score let me know please. I am struggling to get a match report in but thanks to all of you who turned out and toiled away in the mud.

Don't forget Training on Thursday.

Back to League action with Burnage away this coming saturday. Will be sending texts out but we will meet at the club at 12.30 sharp.

Cheers
Simon

Training

2008-11-13T21:05:00.002Z

Not a great turnout (thanks Ali, Dan, Ian and Chris) We have to find that extra ten percent to start winning and we will only find it up at training. We have new moves to work on both for the forwards and the backs, the coaches are keen to help us and the first team players want to see us there. It is appreciated that it is difficult with work commitments but lets make an effort and get up there for the next two Thursdays. It will make a big difference to the results.

Team for Saturday Away to Hope Valley

2008-11-13T20:55:00.004Z

The following have been selected to represent Buxton Third XV away to Hope Valley on Saturday 15th November 2008 Kick Off 2.30pm.

A Bearman
S Fussell c
D Rose
I Henderson
M Woodward
T Charles
C Chapman
P Taylor
P Preece
N Bennison
G Ritchie
R Burton
H Graham
C Ford
S Gardin
Bro Henderson
G Nichols
L McDonald

We will be meeting at 12.45 up at the Club. We will be leaving promptly as we need a decent warm up.

If for any reason you cannot make it please let Simon know ASAP.

Saturday 15th November 2008

2008-11-12T23:26:00.000Z

Away to Hope Valley KO 2.30pm Meet Club at 12.45.
If you have not done so already can you let me know if you are available.

Buxton Thirds 0 Marple 19

2008-11-10T17:29:00.002Z

The adverse weather over the past few weeks finally forced the thirds onto Lilliput. The narrower pitch tends to result in more forward oriented games but on Saturday both sides tried to play with width. Buxton were struggling in certain key positions and the evergreen Graham stepped in to take on the Scrum Half role whilst outside him young Gaz Nichols stepped up to play Fly Half for the first time. He put in an assured performance.

Buxton opted to play up the hill in the first half and they found themelves absorbing plenty of pressure in the opening quarter. Defensively they were up for it and despite much of the possession Marple were unable to find a way through. Buxton launched occasional forays into the Marple half but they struggled to gain their usual advantage in the scrums despite the efforts of Davies. Marples tries came from periods of sustained possession with Buxton basically running out of defenders. Half time 12-0 down and the Thirds still felt that the game was winnable.

Having failed to make any impression using the forwards as a battering ram, Buxton opted for an offloading game. It almost bore fruit as Cavanagh broke through a tackle offloaded to Fussell who found Ford outside him. Ford made some ground and as he was tackled passed inside to Fussell in support who linked with Chapman. From the ruck Rabbitts who had replaced Graham spun the ball out to Nichol and deft passing moved the ball to Ritchie who was bundled into touch.

Gyte launched an attack from full back and carved his way through several tackles, he was brought to ground and the ball turned over. Sensing space behind Marple hoofed the ball up field but Charles showing all his experience had dropped back to cover the eventuallity and launched an attack himself deftly gliding through the defenders before being brought to ground. Henderson continued the move and Austin drove on before Marple managed to snuff out the attack.

Burton showed a useful left boot and put in several racking kicks into the corners. At the lineout Buxton did their best to disrupt Marple ball, and showed a marked improvement on their own throw in.

As the clock ticked down at the final scrum the forwards went AWOL and Marple with turnover ball were able to breach the fractured defense to touch down under the posts to give the score line a flattering appearance.

This was a massive improvement on the previous week but with marginal improvements that can be made on the training ground the Thirds can look forward to winning these games.
Buxton:Davies (McDonald 50mins), Fussell c, Austin, Henderson, Cavanagh, Charles, Dilworth (Richard 30mins) Chapman, Graham (Rabbitts 65mins) Nichols, Ritchie, Burton, Gardin, Ford, (Dawson 50mins) Gyte, Team Coach S Gyte.

Apres Match

No court, everyone ran away apart from five of us.

Injury update

Tom Edge - continues to make good progress and hopes that his finger nail will have grown back in time to allow him to play next week.

Dilly has bad back

Captain my Captain has man flu

Funniest moment of the match - Bird almost falling on killer who was minding his own business with Benno a little bit to close to the touchline. Luckily bird missed killer, otherwise.......

Buxton 0 Marple 19

2008-11-08T20:07:00.002Z

A last minute try flattered Marple as this was a game that the thirds could have won. But we did not quite have the self belief. Training on Thursday is where we can get it right. Some good individual performances on the back of a good team effort. Gaz Nichols did a fine job at half back, and Chris Ford had an excellent game on the wing (voted MOM by Sir)

A full match report to follow, but it appears that we have no game next week, the next match is in the league away to Burnage on 22 November 2008.

Options for next week are either;

Try and get a friendly (prefered one)
Have a training session up at the club and then watch the England v Australia match KO 1430

Another defeat on the Road the lacklustre thirds

2008-11-03T19:18:00.001Z

Buxton 3rd XV 5 Stockport 62

Buxton were outclassed by a superior back line and a strong set of forwards and to be honest some sloppy tackling and defensive alignment. From the kick off Stockport caught the Thirds napping and after a series of sweeping moves touch down for their opening try. A second followed shortly afterwards and it looked like a long afternoon was in store for Buxton. However this team never gets downhearted and rallied by Allen they produced an excellent ten minutes of play. Bennison made the first of several effective breaks and the forwards took the attack on and drove deep into Stockport territory. Stockport scrambled the ball clear but Buxton had a throw in ten metres from the Stockport line. Using a well rehearsed move, Cavanagh powered his way to the line and seemingly touched the ball down, only to be ruled held up. Buxton had the put in and secured clean ball. preece fired the ball out and the move appeared to have died out. Chapman secured the ball and the move moved right with the forwards driving as a unit for the line. Preece using his experience darted for
the line and supported by Dilworth got the try. For a fleeting moment it seemed as if the thirds would get back into the game, but defensive lapses and some positional naivety gifted more points to Stockport and the game was ended as a contest by half time. An injury to Preece necessitated some changes to the half backs. Buxton never gave up, Allen charged at the defenders all afternoon and Cavanagh took numbers of defenders to bring him down. Nichols had a half break, Ford showed some strength on the wing and Burton showed some strong running, but the Thirds could not string enough phases together to make any progress. With the last kick of the match Stockport launched a speculative punt upfield, as the ball bobbled about in the in goal area, Pollitt fell awkwardly and damaged his knee while Stockport helped themselves to another try.

Next week at home to Marple.

Bearman, Fussell, Austin, Cavanagh, Henderson, Allen, Dilworth, Chapman, Preece, Bennison, Ritchie, Nichols, Burton, Ford, Gardin, Pollitt, Rose

New Third Team Shirts

2008-10-31T09:32:00.003Z

They have been ordered so should be with us in a couple of weeks. Let us know what you think by voting in the poll on the right hand side.

Thirds notch up first win 17-7 over Old Bedians

2008-10-27T07:53:00.002Z

Buxton Thirds got their first win of the season with a battling and workman like win over fellow strugglers Old Bedians. The win lifts the thirds off the bottom of Division 5 South in the Miller Homes League. With plenty of subs the Thirds could concentrate on going flat out from the off, but despite opportunities were unable to break down a stubborn Old Bedians defence. With the scrum and line out functioning effectively Buxton were able to exert plenty of pressure in the set piece, the front row of Bearman Fussell and Austin looking comfortable and assured and the benefits of training showed through with Allen and Cavanagh providing the power in the second row. Edge and Poole had plenty of quality possession to distribute. Buxton's best chance of the first half came from a penalty move deep in their own twenty two. Skipper Allen spotted the space and instead of kicking for safety Poole took a tap and sent the ball out to Nichols. He broke through the Old Bedians defence and jinked his way some thirty metres up field. With opportunities outside him he back himself and the move died when he was brought to ground. With the backrow of Charles, Chapman and Henderson hitting the rucks the quality of possession was much

improved and the thirds defensive lines kept the sporadic Old Bedian attacks at bay. The conditions did not favour open back play but Ford and Politt used the limited opportunities well and Ritchie carried well. The half time score of 0-0 did not adequately reflect the thirds dominance. To their credit they started the second half even more strongly. Using the driving maul to more effect they marched into the Old Bedians half, and set up a number of attacking positions. A series of drives for the line led by Austin and Allen fractured the Old Bedians defence and Cavanagh crashed through to score a well worked try. Some positional changes and the introduction of fresh legs helped Buxton keep up the momentum. From broken play Edge found Hoodie lurking off his wing and he produced a burst of speed to take him clear of the defenders and under the posts for the second try. Charles converted and in the conditions 12-0 looked a wining scoreline. A lapse in concentration let Old Bedians back in. They countered with a series of sweeping moves and after switching play to the right managed to burrow over close to the touchline despite Gardin's efforts. A superb conversion took the scoreline to 12-5. For the next five minutes Old Bedians were back in the match. Excellent tacking and support kept them at bay, and Bennison cleared the danger by breaking out of his twenty two. The game was effectively sealed with ten minutes to go. Buxton wrecked an Old Bedians scrum, forcing them back towards their line. Allen nicked the ball from the ruck and Chapman darted for the line only to be held up. Preece set the move up again and the ball went through a number of hands close to the line before Charles crashed over to make the game safe.

A big thank you to the Buxton players who offered to play for Old Bedians, in particular Ian Henderson who propped for them the second half to keep the scrums contested.The win will boost the Thirds confidence and the improvements show how vital it is to keep on training. Next week they are away to Stockport.

Buxton were; Bearman, Fussell, Austin, Allen, Cavanagh, Henderson, Chapman, Charles, Edge, Poole, Ritchie, Nichols, Gardin, Pollitt, Gyte, Dilworth, Purvis, Hoodie, Rose, Ford, Bennison, Woodward, Burton.

Thirds get First Win of the Season

2008-10-26T21:00:00.002Z

Buxton 3rd XV 17 Old Bedians 7.

Tries from Hoodie, TC and Big Bird helped Buxton to their first win of the season and provided an excellent basis on which to celebrate. Unfortunately I cannot remember who got what at Court, so if anyone wants to enlighten me I would be very grateful. I don't think the McFussells have any commercial legs though.

Match report to follow.

Bloodied but unbowed.

2008-10-19T09:36:00.003Z

Buxton 3rd XV 0 v Aldwinians 46.

A brief respite from the league saw the Thirds in cup action, travelling to Aldwinians. Despite injuries and absences, the thirds managed to travel with 18 but were up against an Aldwinians side that were clearly bolstered by the fact that their seconds had had their game cancelled. Late arrivals mean't that there was little time to go through any pre-match preparations. Despite this the opening exchanges were even with both sides making errors. Aldwinians made progress into the Buxton 22 and some sterling defence kept them at bay with Rose putting in big hits. Eventually the pressure told and Aldwinians opened their account. The game was by no means a procession for Aldwinians. The thirds fought hard, edging the scrums and with the line out functioning much better this week the additional possession gave Preece options with the ball. Poole made a well timed break through the traffic, but despite the support the ball was knocked on. Gardin made some strong runs from the back, and Hoodie was a constant menace. Too many errors and turnovers however ceded the initiative to Aldwinians and by half time Buxton were 24 nil down and tie was lost. Aldwinians replaced their front row and the scrums became scrappy.

Injuries to several players meant some reorganisation. Buxton had been penalised heavily in the first half but with the game lost the penalty count evened up and with Poole finding some distance and Fussell finding Charles in the line out more should have been made of the possession. The forwards began to make more runs, Henderson picked up on the loose ball and Cavanagh drove into the heart of the defence with six tacklers hanging off him but was unable to off load. Pollitt and Ford both showed good presence on the wings. Buxton battled hard all afternoon, and never gave up. The effort they showed will be rewarded as the season goes on.

Next week the Thirds entertain Old Bedians at home. Training is on Thursday at 7.00pm.

Buxton were: Rose(Chapman 40m), Fussell c, Austin, Henderson, Cavanagh, Woodward, Charles, Chapman (Taylor 40m), Preece, Poole, Ritchie (Pollitt

40m), Stratford (Ritchie 65m) Nichols (Ford), Hoodie, Gardin

Apres Match

We did not hold court in the end as there were too many absentees however I have a few nominations that perhaps we can take forward to next week.

The Ranulph Fiennes prize for Navigation goes to Tay. Eventually when he realised that his sat nav needed a post code he found his way to the ground.

Mentioned in dispatches Seth and Gaz, but then they always get lost. Together. Geoff gets a mention for following the wrong car out of the ground and arriving at the pub 20 minutes late.

The Ballet Rambert gold award goes to Ian Henderson for his dive across the ruck. The referee appreciated it anyway.

To the Aldwinians player who Ian hit, allegedly, who waited until all his players were around him before "wanting to have a go back"

FUOTD - Seth for letting go of the ball on our line and letting them in for a really soft try, Mr Fussell for getting confused about the new calls, there were more but it would be tedious to mention them.

Thirds 0 Aldwinians 2XV 46

2008-10-18T21:20:00.002Z

I'll post a match report later, but just to say despite the score we can be massively proud of the performance today. It was a bit of a piss take but we battled all the way and never once let our heads go down.

We need to be serious about next week. Training on Thursday is vital so lets get there if we can.

Thirds battle to brave defeat

2008-10-13T07:26:00.003Z

3rd XV 5 v Ashton on Mersey 38

The scoreline did not do justice to the effort and commitment that the thirds showed, but unless they can utilise their possession more effectively they are going to be in for a very long hard season. The Thirds dominated the set piece comfortably winning their own ball and stealing much of the oppositions. The tight five worked hard,Fussell in particular made the opposition hooker's life uncomfortable all afternoon.

For long periods of the first half they were stuck in their own twenty two. But the defense was well organised and stand in No 10 Charles put in some decent clearance kicks to relieve the pressure. Apart from one piece of magic all Ashton's tries stemmed from defensive errors. That said Rabbits, Austin and Henderson were tireless in defense and Bearman produced an earth shattering bone crunching tackle to save a certain try. Injuries to the tireless Chapman and the hardworking Dilworth and Rabbitts meant some positional changes had to be made.

Preece put in a quality performance at scrum half and his apprentice Edge took over for the last twenty minutes and improves with every game. A sustained period of Buxton pressure went unrewarded after a series of scrum penalties eventually were cleared down field. Despite the game being lost early in the second half the Thirds continued to fight and to battle. Nichols and Jardin combined well and Jardin made a break up the centre and it took three to haul him down. Tom, playing out of position at open side was a human dynamo and when he was switched to centre almost broke out of his twenty two. The back three of Ritchie, Edge and Ford, worked well as a unit and were always looking to join the line. Packer came on in the second half to sharpen up the defensive edge. And the introduction of Hoodie provided a cutting edge out wide and proved himself to be a handful when ever he got the ball.

Buxton's persistence and spirit was rewarded after a series of rucks took them into the twenty two. With an overlap out wide Edgie backed himself and burst through the defenders to score a classic scrum halves try.

Training on Thurday at 7.00pm Be there! It is making a difference.

Next week away to Aldwinians in the cup. Let Simon F know asap if you are available.

Bearman, Fussell c, Austin, Henderson, Dilworth (Tom), Rabitts, Woodward, Chapman, Preece, Charles, Ritchie, Nichols, Jardin, Ford(Hoodie), Edge (Packer)

Apres Match

MOM - Fussell for his hooking apparently
FUOTD - Phil Preece for agreeing to go off and allowing Tom Edge to come on as scrumhalf (It was the only thing we could think of to get Phil!)

Another day another Loss

2008-10-12T12:52:00.003Z

The losing streak continued at Ashton on Mersey despite the forwards winning a stack of possession. We were better than the 38 -5 scoreline might suggest but there is much to do if we are to start turning possession into points.

Chris is away at the moment so Simon is organising the team for this week's game against Aldwinians. Its a cup game so a rest from League action for a week. If you are availble to play and you don't get a text by Tuesday evening, let Simon know by e-mailing info@buxtonrugbyclub.com.

We will be training on Thursday up at the club at 7.00pm. We have had two great turnouts so get up there if you haven't been. It will make the difference to our season.

Buxton lose in the drizzle

2008-10-06T16:32:00.003Z

3rd XV 0 v Carrington 17

Buxton Thirds had high hopes of ending their run of defeats and as the clock ticked past three o'clock and there was still no sign of the opposition it looked as if the Thirds would win by default. But although they had been unable to raise a side at home last week, Carrington, bolstered by the fact that their Firsts game had been cancelled arrived late but in good heart. Despite the lack of a warm up Carrington were quickest out of the blocks and Buxton had to defend from the off. Wilson and Stratford marshalled the defence and the Thirds held out. Both sides appeared equally matched, but the game was basically lost by the Thirds at the breakdown. Ill disipline saw them come off worse in the penalty count and too often good attacking ball was turned over in contact. Carrington's opening try was against the run of play and despite the endeavour the Thirds could not get backon terms. Matt Poole had a solid game at fly half, his kicking bringing a new dimension to Buxton's play. But with the lineout not functioning effectively, some of the advantage was lost. Woodward had an excellent game at openside making himself known to the opposition ten from an early stage. His pace and hard tackling will be critical if Buxton are to start winning. Allen battled away all afternoon and Butler and Pollit pulled off some vital tackles to save the line late on. On several occasions the forwards battled to the line, but with the Carrington defence at sixes and sevens and the line beckoning the wrong options were called and the opportunities squandered. When the whistle went the disappointment was etched onto the faces of the Buxton players, but if they are to turn their season round then they will need to be harder at the breakdown and swifter in decision making.

Training on Thursday at 7.00pm up at Sunnyfields. We need as many as possible there, if we are to put right the basics and start winning.

Buxton were: Bearman, Fussell (Rabbits), MacDonald (Fussell), Cavanagh (Rose),Henderson,Allen, Woodward, Chapman, Edge, Poole, Dilworth (Pollit), Wilson, Stratford, Butler (Ritchie), Gyte

Apres Match

His Honour Ali B was on the bench. He handed out fines like they were going out of fashion.

MOTM - Matt Woodward

Fuck up of the day - Mr Stratford for dropping a scoring pass. He should be dealt with for claiming to have friends from Oswestry.

Advanced warning - theme for the 25th October..........but if course if you had been at court you would know would'nt you.

Match Analysis by Matt Poole. You had to be there to appreciate it. One or two of us might be hanging up our boots sooner than we anticipated.

Thirds 0 v Carrington 17

2008-10-04T19:17:00.002Z

They arrived late. We were warmed up and up for it. So what the fuck went wrong? Training on Thursday 6.45pm at Sunnyfields. Be there come rain or whatever. Match report to follow. Its not easy by the way having to write 250 words when we don't score.

Lookalike

2008-10-01T19:19:00.004Z

Gimli

Chabal

Can I be the only one to have noticd the striking similarity between the dwarf in Lord of the Rings and Seb Chabal of Sale Sharks.

Match report v Crewe

2008-09-29T21:04:00.002Z

Can be found here

Apres Match

Man of the Match - ?

Fuck up of the Day - ?

His Honour Gareth Stratford has set an example to us all with the ruthlessness of his judgements. Be warned!

Court Report

2008-09-27T19:29:00.002Z

The Right Honourable The Lord Chief Justice Gareth Stratford KC, KMC, OBE, TWAT was in the chair and made a number of interesting legal decisions. Some of them may have consequences. In R v Bearman the matter has been postponed to next weeks hearing. In the matter R v Ritchie, an in absentia judgement has been delivered which will be made public at the next session.

Crewe 39 Buxton 3rd XV 5

2008-09-27T19:23:00.001Z

It was a much better peformance than the score line suggests! Another warm afternoon, and a different looking Crewe side to the one that was beaten by Marple last week, but a massively improved effort from the thirds. Crewe knew and acknowledged that they had been in a game. Match report to follow.

The First Fifteen Rugby Babes ScrumOfTheEarth.com

2008-09-23T19:03:00.001Z

Nothing to say really.

Tackling made simple

2008-09-23T19:01:00.001Z

Hell of an incentive to make a tackle!

Buxton 3rd XV 0, Wilmslow 50

2008-09-22T18:34:00.001Z

It was back to the bad old ways on Saturday as Buxton Thirds crashed to a 8 try to nothing defeat. It all began promisingly with the tight five exerting pressure on their opposite numbers and for five minutes Buxton were dominating both territory and possession. A steal from the lineout saw Cavanagh drag a couple of defenders with him but unable to sustain possession the move died out. Another Buxton attack resulted in quick turnover and Wilmslow fired the ball out to their wings who blasted past the cover defence to open their account. This seemed to drain Buxton and Wilmslow capitalised with a couple more tries, and effectively the match was dead as a contest. Allen stood out in terms of effort and was always driving at the heart of the defence, but the opportunities for possession were few and far and with Buxton's defence leaking like a sieve, it was a relief when they limped into half time. 33 – 0 adrift. The second half saw some changes in personal but Wilmslow scored another couple of quick tries before the Thirds woke up. Suddenly they began to want the ball and with Chapman and Rabbits securing the ball at the breakdown, Edge and Stratford found them selves with options. With five minutes to go Buxton launched a sustained attack and the ball was switched to Nichols. He made it to within a yard of the line and Sneddon racing up in support was just unable to hold the pass for what would have been a certain try. Buxton ended the match with a series of energy sapping drives that left the Wilmslow defence scrabbling to keep them out and one had to wonder why the Thirds had left it so late to start playing rugby.

On Saturday they travel to Crewe and Nantwich and with key personal absent they will need to start playing from the start if they are to turn their fortunes around.

Training on Tuesday 6.45pm up at the club.

Buxton were:

MacDonald, Rabbits, Fussell, Cavanagh (Dilworth), Rose, Dilworth (Sneddon), Allen, Henderson (Chapman), Preece (Edge), Stratford, Ritchie, Gardin, Nichols, Burton, Bennison (Packer) Woodward, Craig.

Apres Match

Man of the Match - Chris Allen, no contest really his was the standout performance

Fuck up of the day - Fussells throwing in at the lineout

Buxton Thirds wilt in heat!

2008-09-20T18:35:00.003Z

Buxton Thirds 0 v Wilmslow Thirds 50.

Oh dear oh dear! If I can bare to do it a match report will follow, but like our play it won't be pretty.

A couple of things:

Training on Tuesday 6.45pm. Be there, we are going to work on our defense and do we need to!

We are away to Crewe and Nantwich next Saturday so let Chris know availability as soon as you get the text.

He has not changed a bit

2008-09-15T19:19:00.003Z

Can you spot one of our team members? Extra points if you get the year and the Team he is playing for.

Thirds can take comfort from Narrow loss.

2008-09-14T11:05:00.004Z

On a sweltering hot afternoon, it was a lack of self belief and confidence in the first half that cost Buxton Thirds the game. Hope Valley Firsts were well drilled and organised and were able to field five substitutes which given the conditions was a major advantage. They scored three well worked tries, but as the Thirds grew in confidence in the second half they began to demonstrate what they are capable of and finished the stronger side.
The opening exchanges were evenly matched, the Buxton front row of MacDonald, Fussell and Davies gained the upper hand and gave a solid platform for the backs. Pressure from the thirds forced Hope to concede a penalty and Charles's effort drifted just wide. After ten minutes a series of missed tackles and some poor organisation saw Hope launch a sweeping move from their own half. They attacked up the right hand side, the move was stopped by some big hits from the centres Nichols and Edge, but Hope were able to recycle and they found acres of space in front of them and scored under the posts.
From the kick off Buxton conceded a soft score and suddenly found themselves 14 – 0 a drift. This was the signal to dig deep. Using their superiority in the pack the Thirds set up a series of driving mauls capitalising on the outstanding line-out work of Dilworth. Deep in the Hope 22, Preece flicked the ball wide and Edge crashed through a couple of tackles to be driven to the line by Charles and Rose. It looked as if he had grounded the ball but the referee was unsighted. From the resulting scrum Buxton made mincemeat of the Hope effort and all they could do was to collapse the scrum. Hope managed to work their way out of their twenty two but the relief was temporary. Another five metre scrum, another Hope scrum destroyed and this time Chapman made sure of the touch down and Buxton were back in the game.
The second half was always going to be tough as Buxton had to play up the slope and things looked grim as after five minutes Hope scored and converted after another well worked back move. Rather than demoralising the thirds,this acted as a spur. With the Hope scrum gaining some parity with the introduction of fresh legs, Buxton had to dig deep. Allen took responsibility and with Davies drove into the heart of the defence. Charles ,Rose and Macdonald supported well, and Preece was able to get good second phase ball. Bennison made a series of half breaks, and Nichol was almost put away in the centre. The support play and defensive alignment was beginning to pay dividends. The ever improving Ritchie tackled his heart out and working with Gardin and Pollit the back three provided a solid defensive blanket.
A lose kick from Hope gave Gardin a chance to counter-attack . He flew down the wing and crashed into the last line of defence just being bundled into touch.
A series of moves took Buxton into the Hope half, Bennsion spotted a half chance and scorched down the wing to score in the corner. Back in the game and with a sniff of victory, the thirds upped their effort. Chapman came close to scoring and as the move continued first Edge then Davies drove for the line. The Hope defence was creaking and a scrum ten metres from their line set up a great position for Buxton. The referee warded the scrum to Buxton only to reverse it and yellow card a Buxton player for back chat. Buxton continued to batter away but time and Buxton's hopes ran out.

Buxton were:
MacDonald, Fussell, Davies, Dilworth, Rose, Allen, Chapman, Charles, Preece, Bennison, Ritchie, Nichols, Edge, Pollit, Gardin.

Training on Tuesday's up at Sunnyfield at 6.45pm.

Apres Match

There was no Fuck up of the day, so it will be carried over to next week and the forefeit doubled.

Man of the Match was Seth. He and Gaz got an even number of votes but Seth won the drink off. A tasty little number lovingly created and crafted by Steve Edge and the Barmaid at the Peaks hotel. He was so long getting it mind you I'm not sure that that was all he was doing.

Thirds lose narrowly in close encounter against Hope Valley

2008-09-14T10:23:00.002Z

Hope Valley First XV 21, Buxton Third XV 10 (Chapman, Bennison)

Match report to follow.

AS CHRIS SAID AFTER THE GAME, IF WE TRAIN WE WILL WIN THESE CLOSE GAMES. OUR SELF BELIEF AND LACK OF CONFIDENCE LET US DOWN IN THE FIRST HALF. SO GET UP TO THE CLUB ON TUESDAYS AT 6.45pm.

TRAINING UPDATE

2008-09-09T15:38:00.001Z

Third team will train with the club on Tuesdays at 6.45pm. After Saturday its important that we work on our game so be there if you can.

Thirds Away to Altringham Kersal for League Opener

2008-09-03T21:15:00.005Z

V

Altringham Kersal Fourth XV

GOOD LUCK, LETS START WITH A WIN!

For directions to Altringham click on this link - directions

MEMBERSHIP

2008-09-03T16:43:00.001Z

Don't forget to renew your membership before the new season starts. The forms can be found here. The club will be enforcing the no pay no play rules this season, so get signed up.

FRIENDLY ? ? ?

2008-08-05T16:56:00.002Z

Well boys it's that time again ! Hope you've had a good summer ?? My friends ( I use that word very loosely) would like to play a nice friendly game of rugby, I shall of course be playing for the highest bidder, failing any bids being received I'll play for who ever will have me !! Two dates are being mulled over at the mo either the 20th or the 27th, please let Benno know which date you prefer.

Buxton RUFC Website

2008-07-29T17:24:00.002Z

Temporary site at www.buxtonrugby.wordpress.com. Go and have a look and let them know what you think. New revised site coming shortly.

Paint the Changing Rooms Red

2008-07-16T20:00:00.002Z

Well the floors at any rate. Volunteers wanted for Wednesday 23 July 6.30pm and 30th July 6.30pm up at the club to sort out the changing room floors. Firsts and Seconds and some of the Girls have said they will be there. Could do a spot of training afterwards?

Well Done Captain My XXX Captain

2008-07-16T19:56:00.002Z

Chris arrived at John O'Groats this evening (Wed 16th July) 12 days after setting off from Lands End. He now weighs 10 stone and wants to play on the wing. Well Done Chris.

Some of the Class of 2007/08

2008-07-15T07:11:00.002Z

Buxton Third XV after their victory in the last match of the season.

Rugby pub humour

2008-07-10T16:56:00.001Z

So what do you do at the clubs that have asign that says no bots in the shower?

BIKE RIDE

2008-06-27T16:27:00.003Z

Don't forget the Club Bike Ride this weekend.

Buxton Rugby Club are organising “The Great Ride 2008”, the fourth in a successful series of fundraising events, the bike ride will be approximately 26 miles long in the stunning surroundings of the Peak National Park. The purpose of the “ The Great Ride 2008” is to raise much needed funds to help improve Buxton Rugby Club playing and clubhouse facilities and for people of all ages to have a Great Biking Day Out. Our aim is to raise £5000, so if one hundred of us do it at an average of £50 we will achieve our aim. Let’s try and beat it.

A shortened route will be available for ages 12 and under.

The Great Ride 2008

DateSunday June 29th 2008

Start Time9.30am

Starting PointParsley Hay Bike Station

Mid PointMapleton Lane, Ashbourne

Finish PointParsley Hay Bike Station

Bike transportation will be available on the day, or you can hire a
bike at Parsley Hey Hire Station.

Caption Competition

2008-06-26T17:16:00.003Z

Prizes for the best one. Competition closes 6th July 2008

We have a New Third Team Captain!

2008-06-26T17:01:00.000Z

Apparently.

Any guesses?

Rugby V. Football

2008-06-10T20:39:00.001Z

A bit of light relief during these long summer months

I'm worried about the Baggage Retrieval System at Heathrow

2008-05-17T14:45:00.001Z

And they had good reason as well.

Mystery Man

2008-05-12T16:10:00.002Z

Who is C Hallam? He was meant to be on Mike Barbers table on Saturday night. He kept himself to himself. Perhaps he will be Captain next season. I think we should be told.

So Who has been looking at themselves then?

2008-05-08T22:24:00.003Z

Because I had a few minutes to spare I had a look at the photos on "meet the players". It gives you the number of times that a particular photo has been viewed.

It does not make good reading or for that matter viewing.

Bottom of the pile (sorry Howard) was Mr Graham with 56. The next person had 72 so that's a long way bottom. Come on Howard pull yourself together and start looking at yourself.

Top, well are you really surprised was "Mr Male Grooming Products" himself, Wayne "Dilly" Dilworth. He has viewed himself 99 times. Disgusting. You will go blind Dilly you know so lay off it. Help an old man out and have a look at Howards photo instead.

To the rest of you, if you have the odd minute to spare why not pop by and have a look at Howards photo and give the old chap a bit of a boost. One look from you can feed his ego for a whole day.

See you at the dinner piss up (Don't you mean dance? Ed)

Bath v Saracens Highlights - Guinness Prem Rugby 03/05/08

2008-05-07T20:51:00.001Z

Worth watching again, who needs rule changes when teams can play like this?

Congratulations Mr and Mrs Captain my Captain

2008-05-02T17:30:00.003Z

On the birth of their baby daughter.

Next Season

2008-05-01T08:29:00.002Z

After such a superb finish to the season, I feel we can look forward to next September with anticipation that we'll finish the league in more deserved position, here's a sneak preview of who we'll be playing

Division 5 South

Altrincham K. 4 4east-12th
Aldwinians 3 4east-13th
Marple 3 5east-12th
Broughton Pk 4 5east-13th
Wilmslow 3 5south-7th
Stockport 4 5south-8th
Congleton 2 5south-9th
Burnage 4 5south-10th
Old Bedians 3 5south-11th
Sandbach 4 5south-12th
Buxton 3 5south-13th
Ashton-on-Mer. 3 5west-11th
Carrington 2 5west-13th
Crewe & Nant. 4 New

Finally the cigar

2008-04-27T20:36:00.002Z

Buxton Thirds 10 Aldwinians 0

Buxton Thirds produced an outstanding defensive display to beat Aldwinians and make a mockery of their position at the bottom of the league, in an intense, bruising and at times ill-tempered final game of the season.

Buxton got off to just the start they needed only three minutes into the game. Bosely made a stunning break from 40 metres out blasting through the midfield tacklers before jinking down the wing and beating the despairing cover tackles to score in the corner. From this Aldwinians came back strongly at the Thirds, but superb organisation defensively kept them at bay. Ritchie and Packer were instrumental in organising and keeping the defensive line. Edge and McGuigan began to work well together. McGuigans probing kicks relieved the pressure and Edge sniped and tackled well around the fringes and the pack was beginning to exert some pressure on the Aldwinian eight sending them backwards and disrupting their ball.

The Buxton lineout functioned well with Charles taking plenty of ball and Cavanagh collecting the scraps. Options were somewhat limited when Dilworth had to retire towards the end of the first half but Barber proved his worth, disrupting the opposition ball.

Buxton’s pack was working overtime in the loose. Rose slowed up possession on the floor and Allen relished the opportunity to take down the big runners. When Buxton had the ball Bosley was outstanding breaking tackles, making the yards and recycling the ball.

Aldwinians created a couple of chances in broken play but first Nicholas and then Jardin made try saving tackles. A missed penalty chance in front of the posts added to Aldwinians woes.

Aldwinians frustration began to boil over in the second half. They fell out amongst themselves and the Thirds exploited this by increasing the defensive pressure and causing mistake after mistake.

Despite being under territorial pressure Buxton managed to work their way out. McGuigan darted through a gap and then sensing space behind the defence put in a perfectly weighted kick. Nicholas had a race to the line against the full back but the young centre won by a yard to touch down for Buxton’s second to give them a 10 – lead.

Aldwinians threw everything into the match and set up camp in the Buxton twenty two for twenty minutes. Despite the vociferous support from their supporters they could not break Buxton down. Wave after wave of attacks were stemmed, Allen, Fussell and Charles to the fore with Henderson, Barber and Rose wrapping up anything out wide and Cavanagh and Uprichard scrapping for everything on the floor. The Thirds gave away a succession of penalties and finally the referee lost patience. Cavanagh was the unfortunate recipient of a yellow card. Aldwinians sensed that with Buxton down to fourteen men this was their chance. But try as they might there was no way through. Buxton held out until Cavanagh returned. Indeed Aldwinians were lucky not to have men carded themselves for some careless use of the boot. Having spent the afternoon going nowhere round the fringes they resorted to moving the ball along the line only to find that the defensive resolve was just as firm out wide as first Handcock and then Lownds made hard hitting tackles.

With Cavanagh restored Aldwinians resolve crumbled and a raking McGuigan kick took Buxton to within sight of the Aldwinans line. From a five-metre scrum Charles picked and drove to the line. He was held short of the line but Fussell continued the move and seemed to have grounded the ball only for it to be deemed to have been held up.

Continuing the pressure quick hands through Nicholas and Bosely put Dawson into space. He beat off one tackler and went over in the corner and spilled the ball as he made contact with the line. Again the try was disallowed. But time was running out and the whistle went to give the Thirds their first win of 2008. It was an outstanding effort by the whole squad and a fitting way to round off what has been at times a difficult season.

Rose (Wood 50m), Uprichard, Fussell, Dilworth (Barber 30m), Cavanagh, Allen, Charles, Henderson, Edge (Packer 45m), McGuiggan, Ritchie (Handcock 60m), Bosely, Nicholas, Jardin (Dawson 45m), Packer (Lownds 45m)

Apres Match

Man of the Match - Gaz though Geoff came a close second
Twat in the Hat - Should have been the Aldwinian supporters

So that's it for another season. A big thank you to Chris Allen for doing a fantastic job as Captain (hopefully he will consider having a second go)We all look forward to his speech at the Club dinner.

Tina Turner - Simply The Best (Divas Live 1999)

2008-04-26T19:58:00.001Z

Thats what we were today. Fantastic way to end the season.

Simply the best

2008-04-26T19:41:00.002Z

Alex Ferguson save your breath, We saved the best for last. We were simply outstanding today. We dug deep, and produced one of the best defensive efforts in the history of the third team. Forget glorious defeats this was an outstanding awesome display, and everyone who put on a shirt made a contribution. Oh yeah the score was 10 -0 but who cares, we won.

If only we'd had Godfrey

2008-04-07T19:10:00.003Z

Buxton Third XV 17 Burnage 31

Buxton thirds, still looking for their first win of 2008 came close to pulling off a victory and but for a couple of errors in the second half the score could have been very different.

Buxton began slowly and despite establishing a strong platform in the set piece they were unable to convert possession into points, struggling to win the breakdown. Burnage, quick to turn defence into attack, turned over ball on the half way line and a series of sweeping moves put them in at the corner. Burnage had the better of the possession for the next five minutes and a sloppy defensive lapse close to their own line let Burnage in for their second try.

A nasty injury to the skipper Allen disrupted Buxton a little. But some reorganisation brought stability back. Dilworth took over the blind side duties and Cavanagh came onto bolster the second row. Though still struggling to establish territory Buxton began to make more of their possession and some strong running by Jardin and Nicholas showed what they were capable of. As usual Packer was solid at full back, and Dawson and Ritchie worked hard with him to organise the defence.

The thirds began the second half in storming fashion. Edge replaced Fussell to give some extra pace in the loose and the forwards began to exert themselves. Cavanagh began to make inroads in to the defence and with Bosley causing panic every-time he had the ball holes began to appear in the defence. After Bosley had breached the defence again, the forwards took control of the ball and after Uprichard and Henderson had set up the position, Cavanagh dragged three defenders with him and crashed over the line for Buxton’s opening try. This brought them back to within a score and they were in the ascendancy. The next five minutes took the game effectively away from them. Two poor pieces of kicking gave the initiative back to Burnage who took full advantage to score two quick tries. Buxton refused to lie down and dominated the remaining twenty minutes of the game. The forwards ran controlled possession at the Burnage defence, Bearman and Rose doing sterling work. A quick tap penalty by Edge saw a try disallowed. Another powerful Buxton scrum drove the Burnage eight back and it was Tim Charles who claimed the try from the ruck of bodies. Sneddon came on for his first game for six months and made an immediate impact. With the forwards creating opportunities, Preece and Stratford began to exploit the space out-wide. Several times they created overlaps only for these to be squandered. Eventually the pressure told and Bosley battered his way over the line for a well-deserved score. Preece, playing he promises will be his last game for the Thirds before retiring, almost scored himself but the weight of defenders was to much even for him.

Another improved performance, but these are the games that the Thirds are capable of wining. A little more self-belief and they could have taken the game.

Bearman, Uprichard, Fussell (Edge 40m), Dilworth (Cavanagh 20m) Rose, Allen, (Dilworth 20m) Charles, Henderson, Preece, Stratford, Ritchie (Lownds), Bosley, Nicholas (Sneddon 58m), Dawson (Jardin 40m), Packer (Procter 55m)

Apres Match

Man of the Match - Brendon, who then claimed the twat in the hat

Fuck up of the day - The traitorous Tom Edge for refusing to pass so that he did not let a rival score a try. (Apparently he is top try scorer)

The Waistcoat issue was settled by a judgement remarkable for its erudition and legal insight.

Captain our Captain returned from hospital stitched up but still bleeding and then managed to play the guitar and sing at his Birthday party. Well done.

League update - we are still bottom and now have no chance of catching Sandbach. But it would be good to win the last two games.

Our Glorious Leader is Forty!

2008-04-05T10:06:00.002Z

Comrades, our glorious leader is forty. Let us celebrate this with him after the game in a nice and civilized way, like we always do!

Our leader speaks;

"Let there be no doubt that the dark clouds of defeat are now rolling away and that the tide of victory is rising and a win of unprecedented magnitude is on the cards and will swamp the opposition in a tidal wave of tries."

Censored Again

2008-04-01T19:14:00.005Z

Apparently verse does not sit easily on the sports pages of our esteemed local paper, what they want is facts and names so that people can recognise each other. Well I have some news for them. My match reports have never bourne any relation to facts and in next weeks report,which I have written already, everyone is going to be named Godfrey.

Buxton Thirds 0 Knutsford 40

2008-03-29T20:37:00.005Z

This was the Thirds "Battle of Maldon",

Mind must be harder, spirit must be bolder,
And heart the greater,as our might grows less
Here lies our leader in the dust , the hero
Cut down in battle. Ever must he mourn
Who thinks to go home from this battle-play.

Despite the scoreline, the Thirds were magnificent in defeat. In appalling weather they produced a performance of pride and courage that as they left the Knutsford clubhouse produced a standing ovation*. Knutsford were made to work and to fight for every point, never, not once, not for a moment did the Thirds flag or let their heads drop. To have been part of the team today was an honour. To name individuals is invidious but you can't have a match report without it. so here goes.

Captain our Captain was outstanding. His rallying cries spurred the tired and weary legs on, and he was a threat and a thorn in the Knutsford side all afternoon. Bearman, Uprichard, and Fussell, battled and battered their opposite front row all afternoon. Dilworth and Rose provided the power behind and as the game wore on Rose began to get about the park a bit and make a nuisance of himself. Dilworth as always gave his all. Allen we have mentioned but he grows in stature every game, and Henderson was the rock. Even his kicking had a certain style to it. Anthony was fearless at open side and with experience will come guile and an awesome prospect (even if he does come from Longnor) and when he tired the old fox Dawson appeared to snap and cause them confusion.

Tom Edge stepped up to the plate and took on the tricky role of scrum half. He grew into it as the game developed and made some feisty breaks to show what he can do. Stratford was calmness personified, an oasis of tranquility within the surging maelstrom around him. He has taken to the strategy and like a Kasparov or an Adams finds innovation in the chaos that it creates.

To the three quarters we salute you. Your defense at times was so solid that it forced Knutsford to make errors, so that we lucky forwards could indulge ourselves in yet another scrum. You never gave up nor did you waver;

He told his troops
To make a shield wall and to hold it fast
Against their foes....Steadfast they stood
as Stratford stirred them on
Bade Seth, Gaz, Geoff and Dan to concentrate on defense.
And at the back, standing firm
In the mud and rain, there was a rock,
A lintel, unflinching in the face of the onslaught,
Ali Packer our brave last line.

Remember all the speeches that we uttered
Often when drinking beer, when we made vows
Upon the benches, heroes in the hall,
About hard strife. Those that had true
Courage shewed it.

*Okay it was applause and they remained seated, but it was heart felt and those guys had been in a game today and they knew it.

Bugger Bugger Bugger!

2008-03-17T21:42:00.003Z

Buxton Thirds 14 Congleton 17

Buxton were minutes away from a first win of the year when a momentary suspension of common sense ceded the initiative to Congleton and they just won a kick and chase three quarters of the length of the field to ease them ahead for the first time in the match. Buxton tried to come back but they had been running on empty for most of the second half and nasty injury to James Weston brought the game to a wretched conclusion for the Thirds.

Things had began so differently however. In a storming and fractious first half well policed by poacher turned gamekeeper referee Taylor Buxton threw everything at Congleton and deserved their half time lead of 14 –0. Even without the usual dominance upfront they managed to use their possession wisely. While Henderson, Charles and Mike competed in the loose, the wily old heads of Preece and Stratford varied the plays to keep the Congleton defense guessing. The build up for the first try started with a Congleton throw in. Buxton had set up camp in their twenty- two, when Uprichard pounced on the lose ball. He drove to the line and despite the support work from Fussell and Cavanagh was held just short. Congleton managed to scramble the ball into touch and a superb take from Charles and a well controlled drive took Buxton to within one metre of the line. As the drive was halted, Allen drove Mike over for the try and Charles converted. Congleton tried to come back into the game but with Bennison secure under the high ball and the backs producing a solid defensive line they could not find a way through. With the Buxton centres creating holes and Dan Gyte taking the ball at pace it seemed only a matter of time before Buxton scored again. The second try started with a miss move in the centres and Stratford found Gyte with a flat pass at pace. He was halted but the forwards arrived in support and first Allen and Dilworth then Cavanagh drove at the Congleton defense. The move appeared to have been halted when up popped Uprichard to muscle his way over for an excellent score. Charles added two more points and Buxton had a fourteen point cushion. It had been a gruelling first half though played at a whirlwind pace and this was to take its toll on Buxton in the second half. Congleton had been forced to rearrange their front row due to some aggressive scrummaging from Allen and the fresher legs gave Congleton an edge in open play. They launched a series of attacks down the centre of the field and managed to create an overlap on the left hand side. Despite the desperate tackling from the Centres and Bennison Congleton managed to squeeze in at the corner. For some reason they managed to take the conversion from another twenty yards in and what should have been a difficult kick became much easier. More Congleton pressure saw Buxton forced to concede a penalty and the gap narrowed to four points. With five minutes to go the thirds were in attack with options outside and on the inside. Poole replacing Gyte tried a neat little chip over the centres. Had it come off and he re-gathered under the posts and scored the game would have been safe. As it was the Congleton centre caught the chip and seeing the full back up in the line, launched the ball into the acres of space. Charles made a valiant effort to get back but the ball held up just enough for Congleton to touch it down and claim the try. The points gave them a three point lead. Buxton tried to come back and Ritchie, Cavanagh, Uprichard and Fussell all made ground and battled their way through to the Congleton twenty two. As the ball was cleared to touch Weston was injured and the game conceded.

It was a mighty effort by all the thirds. They have raised their game on each of the last three occasions and a win is in their sights. Saturday against Stockport would be a good place to claim it.
A mighty big thank you to Paul Taylor for the excellent display referring display. The Congleton players refused to believe that it was his first time with the whistle and said that he was on of the best they had come across all season.

Apres Rugby

Your intrepid reporter sneeked off before court so cannot report on Man of The Match,(but as a member of the front row union if Mr Uprichard didn't get it then there will be trouble)or for that matter twat of the day. Its got to be either Poolie for that little chip over the top straight into the hands of their centre, or Dilly for confidently diagnosing James W's knee injury as a broken leg. Well he is in the Fire Service! Perhaps a special mention should go to Mr Gyte who possessed of a nice new intellectual looking pair of spectacles and desperate to get involved in a little bit of afters that took place on the touch line under his nose, managed to miss with his intended punch. There is also a malicious and totally unfounded rumour that Mr Fussell punched one of his own men in a ruck (Sorry Geoff). Perhaps Tay for being too bloody fair and for not blowing his whistle for the opening five minutes. Some of us were turning blue.

Thirds 14 Congleton 17.

2008-03-15T22:48:00.005Z

Referees of the world watch out, Tays about. Sir did a really good job in keeping the waring factions of Buxton Thirds and Congleton apart in a sparky game which we managed to lose. No doubt a deep and detailed analysis was held in court and the guilty named and shamed but to lose 17-14 to a runaway try in the last five minutes of the game was a bit of sh***er to be honest. Good news that James W who sustained a really nasty injury was up and about a couple of hours afterwards. For what its worth Andy Uprichard was outstanding. He showed what a bit of controlled aggression can do (well he is a lawyer afterall) and I thought Captain my Captain did a manful job at the coalface. Welcome to the front row union. Hats off to the girls for holding the defensive line. The backs put in an excellent defensive performance and I have to say that if we had played on a wider pitch I think young Mr Gyte would have scored. (Mind you there would also have been a few seriously knackered forwards) We really are close to giving a team a stuffing. .I know I am unfit but was that first half fast or what? One more thing. Can Mr Dilworth please stop shouting at elderly and injured props from the touchline. If he persists he will have to front up and he knows what that means. Actually one more one more thing. What was Gytie doing dragging the honourable name of the third team spectator into the mud by fighting on the touchline? If he's going to do it at least he could connect with his punches, personally I blame the new glasses that he is wearing.

Close but no cigar

2008-03-04T07:57:00.002Z

Buxton 15 Sandbach 27

After being on the receiving end of a couple of thrashings over the past few weeks, the Thirds travelled to Sandbach needing to put in a big performance to stop the rot. Though they did not manage a win they produced their best performance for some time and had it not been for three lapses of concentration could well have won the match.

Sandbach started the stronger and dominated the early territorial exchanges, despite the Buxton tight five taking control. The Sandbach no 8 proved to be a thorn in the Buxton side and it was a break by him in midfield that supplied their first try. This seemed to galvanise Buxton and through the effective boot of Stratford battled their way into the Sandbach half. Henderson returning after a long layoff was in outstanding form and with Charles and Dilworth foraging for anything lose, Buxton forced Sandbach onto the back foot. Allen competed for everything and when he wasn’t leading by example he was organising the defence and motivating the team. Keeping the ball close to the forwards Buxton drove up field and with Sandbach unable to hold the drive it was Henderson that came up with the ball to claim the try. With the scores level Buxton began to exert pressure. Bearman, Uprichard and Fussell began to get the upper hand in the scrums and though the lineout was not firing on all cylinders Taylor proved adept at disrupting the Sandbach throw. Buxton were beginning to gain some dominance when a defensive lapse in midfield provided the Sandbach centres with acres of space to run in their second try. Just before half time another lapse exposed some frail defending and Sandbach stretched their lead at a crucial time. Sandbach burst down the flank and poor tackling gifted them another try. The half time score of 15-5 did not reflect the effort that Buxton had put in. Ritchie who gave a hundred percent as always, was rested and Proudlove took over on the wing. Buxton hit back with a solo effort from Bennison, running and weaving his way from fifty metres out. Sandbach extended their lead again despite some valiant defence from Nicholls and Leigh. Buxton hit back though, as Dawson who had been an effective target all afternoon brought the ball back to the forwards and Graham fed Allen who powered his way to just short of the line. The ball was secured and Dilworth was driven over from close range for the try.

Buxton refused to give up even though time was ebbing away. Twice Buxton failed to exploit an overlap and Proudlove was hauled down with the line beckoning. Despite the defeat the thirds can be justly proud of their efforts. They showed great strength of character and if they can take certain key lessons forward they will start winning again.

The team send their best wishes to Leigh who had to leave the field in the opening minutes with a nasty knee injury. We all wish him a speedy recovery.

Club training on Monday and Thursdays at the club at 7.00pm. All welcome.

Bearman, Uprichard, Fussell, Taylor, Allen, Proudlove, (Charles 10m), Dilworth, Henderson, Graham, Stratford, Ritchie, (Proudlove 40m),Dawson, Nicholls, Leigh (Handcock 5m) Bennison

Apres Match

Man of the Match - Master Tactician and aging rock star Mr Stratford

Twat in the Hat - The prop that can't kick and spills his Guinness Mr Bearman.

Another Week another drubbing

2008-02-17T10:28:00.004Z

This week it was the turn of Old Bedians to enjoy a try fest at the expense of the thirds. And they, did scoring 87 unanswered points. When they came to us earlier in the season, they brought 9 players so we lent them half our second team and gave them a bit of a drubling. Since then they have been going up whilst we have been in free fall and it showed on saturday. We did play the whole game a man down and we were dominating the scrums with only five against their eight for lots of the game, but we could not do any thing constructive with the ball that we won. So often we would win the ball see it truned over at the first and second breakdown and then their youthful and speedy backs would exploit our fractured defence to score. And we did deserve to score at least one as we battered their line in the last ten minutes. TC had a glimpse of the line but it was fifteen metres away and his whole life would have flashed in front of him before he got there. They had youth on their side as well as superior numbers. Our half back pairing had a combined age of 99 years, while the front row weighed in at a youthful 133. Its not good at the moment. We need to go training, its simple really.

Man of the Match - Tony Austin ran and tackled his heart out all afternoon.

Quote of the day from our scrum half "whats passing got to do with being a scrum half?" He's 55 so I guess its too late to tell him but it does explain one or two things!

Twat of the day - Our ageing rock star Mr Stratford for being unable to distinguish his left from his right.

Shane Williams 2nd Try vs Scotland 6 Nations 2008

2008-02-17T10:26:00.001Z

A really bad decision by the fourth official or tv ref. If thats a try then I'm a Welshman.

Buxton Thirds 3 Village Spartans 38

2008-02-09T21:37:00.002Z

Despite the lipstick and the painted nails we still lost to Village Spartans. Well done them! And a big thank you to all their camp followers, who stayed to watch the Irish ALMOST do to the French, what the Welsh did to the English a week ago. But not quite. And by the way to any Welshman who has stumbled across this little oasis of bigoted Englsihness, that was NEVER a fucking try. You should be ashamed of yourselves for claiming such a flagrant non try against your fellow celts.

No match report to follow.

State of South African Rugby

2008-01-25T23:47:00.001Z

Who does that remind you of?

SA rugby vs soccer

2008-01-25T23:45:00.001Z

A bit of balance

rugby vs soccer

2008-01-25T23:43:00.001Z

DOESN'T IT JUST MAKE YOU WANT TO PLAY?

The Parisian Sale Part Two - The Italian Chapter Part One by Howard Graham

2007-12-23T10:42:00.000Z

The Parisian Sale
Part Two

‘The Italian Chapter’

[ Part one ]

Well it started again, How are you mate? Do you fancy a drink? Have a large one.

I should have known these things only happen to me when some one wants something and this was no different. If you read part one you know what comes next ‘We need you and err ---- your car if that’s ok.
Being the soft touch that I am I thought well it was ok last time maybe if I go again it will get better or then again maybe not!

It all started so well. I awoke at 8am on the Friday [the day of travel] after being in London for 3 days and not getting home until midnight.
I wasn’t tired I was knackered, but I had to force myself for the sake of the team, sounds a bit like a normal Saturday.

Packed ‘The’ bag and into the car, 10 minutes in all, said Hello to Sal and explained who I was and why I was leaving, again.
I also explained that when I got back on the Monday I didn’t need any supper as I had an 8 o’clock meeting, and forget breakfast as I was going early and would be back on the Thursday night. With hind site, probably not the best time to divulge all this information. Hey Ho.

I have my instructions ‘Pick everyone up at 9am’ How? Tell me how Tim.

I start with Tidz, I knew he had to be first as he hadn’t been to bed the night before. He wasn’t ill he just needed his quota of Magners just in case there wasn’t any in Italy. As if.

Gyte was next but neither Tidz nor I new how to approach this one. We decided the best thing to do was to sit outside the house and blow the horn. We kept the engine running, you never know this is Fairfeild!
A couple of minutes later we got what we came for, ’The Gyte’.

On we go to pick up one of Snow Whites pals, Phil.
We found him pacing up and down the living room like an expectant father. As he walked down the path we could see the smile on his face as he anticipated the next 4 days adventure. When he got in the car we also saw the tear in his eye as he left Kath. Never mind he said ‘I’ll be back’.
It didn’t quite have the same impact as Arnie saying it.

And so we move to find the last of the tour party,[don’t get excited Phil I’m not talking about caravans] I mean our leader, Tim but Dim. Where better to find a sleeping giant than the cemetery, where peace and quiet are the order of the day. Not that Tim needs peace or quiet to nod off, I have the photo’s.

Now we are five! Now we are one! Now the adventure begins.
Just so there is no doubt the party consists of, Batman [driver], Tidz [co pilot], The Gyte [needs no explanation], Tim but Dim [ sleeping giant] and Phil, he’s the one that didn’t go to New Zealand with the lions just in case anyone didn’t know.

The journey to the airport is uneventful excepting that Tim didn’t know where we were leaving the car, he wasn’t bothered, it wasn’t his car.

East Midlands is a small friendly airport. As we all know airports are full of shops and things, so we browse the newsagents but buy nothing. However, we find Phil in the queue to pay. What has he bought and I quote; Making Pegs the easy way [it’s a back edition], Sharpen Knifes and your mind in one easy step, and Caravanning for the beginner. We take him from the queue and back into the the ‘Group’.

Now we have some serious decisions to make. Who holds the Kitty? And who sleeps with whom.
The Kitty is easy, Tidz.

Now to the sleeping arrangements. We have 2 twin rooms, and one single room. The problem is if you remember last year Tim and Phil shared a double bed for the whole weekend! They wanted to renew their experience’s and try a few things they didn’t try on the last trip.
We are a democracy and things must be done and be seen to be done fairly. Phil’s not to keen on this and protests at every opportunity that last year was ok, so do it again.

After much debate and a few beers we decide to let the cards decide who sleeps where, with hind site and Phil’s new found Romany interests perhaps we just played straight into his hands.

The 2 Black Kings were to share and the 2 Black Jacks.

The cards were prepared and laid face down in the centre of the table. Each person was to draw a card in turn. Phil still wasn’t quite sure but hey ho.

As each card was drawn the tension began to tell. First to draw a King, your’s truly. We move on, Tim draws a Jack. Phil is looking worried.
The 3 remaining keep turning over cards, at last another King. Tidz, your with me. There is a sigh of relief but Steve and Phil are there to the end, the last 2 cards. Who gets the Jack? Who gets Tim? And how will the little fella cope if its not him.
Gyte to go and he shields the card from view, Phil is wetting himself. Gyte is at his best when he knows something you don’t. I think I can say we have all been there.
Phil can’t go until Gyte has shown his card, and in the fullness of time I like Gyte will tell you who got the remaining Jack. Remember the cards are never wrong.

Security is now a big part of travelling anywhere but I have never seen our security officers so abused by anyone as I did this day.
As we all know one of our party suffers with Farmer’s, and today was no exception.
On seeing how closely people were being screened and what happened if the alarm went off our man took full advantage.

We all went through the scanner, no problem except our expert on piles. He was taken aside because he was deemed to be carrying a ‘metal object’.
Once in the private booth and the gloves were on [and lubricated]so to speak our man gave in quite easily.
Our security officers found nothing but in their investigation did come across some ‘dangle berries’ which they put back where they should be. Our man returned with a smile and a comfortable walk. Nice one Tidz.

We wait in the bar even though it says we must board now, the writer is forced to have a half as time is running out.
We arrive at the gate and find we still have to wait, a bit like a pass from Phil to Tim. Phil passes to Tim we all get there and wait as Tim explains to Phil why he dropped, lost, knocked on or was turned over. Some things don’t change.

As we wait and chat idly Mr Gyte admits that after 2 years of owning an Ipod he has finally worked that he has to download music into it before it will play it back! Derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Steve has also seen the ‘cut’ and ‘paste’ instructions on his computer and thought this was how he created a desk top and screen saver, as in decorate his computer. Double Derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Not to be out done by computer skills Phil had to confess that it took him 2hrs to book a pitch on a caravan site only to be emailed stating that the last pitch for the relevant night had been sold 1hr earlier. Kath pointed to the phone and smiled, that knowing smile that we’ve all seen. You know the one I mean, the one that says I’ve done in 2 minutes what you couldn’t do in 2 hrs.

What is the only car made in Wales? Answers on a post card please.

When you travel with pals they say things that sometimes are best left unsaid, like, ‘I’ve got a wife 2 cats and a caravan to support’. Once again answers on a post card please. [the address is at the end]

We take off we play cards, only resting to eat and drink red wine, just to get us into the mood.
As we approach the airport and prior to the air rage attack, Phil the pikey spots an Italian caravan site from 5000ft, sad or what.

Now we have all travelled many times the worst thing that you can have is a kid sat behind you kicking your seat, or is it? It could be TC.

This lady said and I quote ‘ I lived through the Blitz but wasn’t scared but he scared me ‘pointing at TC .

Let me go back a step or two to the plane journey. Steve and I were in one row and Tim, Phil and Tidz in front.
To play cards the guys in front knelt on there seats and you guessed it, their feet were banging the seats in front, for nearly 3 hours. I thing they were a bit pissed off.
Anyway as we land the guy in front of Tidz turns round to give him a mouthful, realises that it might not be such a good idea spots TC and lays into him.
The old dear above joins in and her quote was definitely directed in TC’s direction.
Quotes, I like quotes. How many you spot, answers on a postcard please.

No matter we’re here now lets find a pub, an English one, no an Irish one, any pub will do but this is not an easy place to find a beer.

What’s the difference between a golf ball and a clitoris? A man will look for a golf ball. Don’t ask who said that.
Part two to follow.

Our No. 8 Doing What He Does Best (Or has he lost phil?)

2007-12-05T21:38:00.000Z

Out and About

2007-12-05T20:50:00.000Z

Sarcasm from the TOC???

2007-12-03T21:56:00.000Z

This was posted on the BRUFC WEB site anonymously - thought it might inspire!!!!!!!!!!

Good game guys. I played in this game, and while you no doubt were superb in the scrummage, I am not too sure if you were 'camped on our line', or that you 'had the best of the early exchanges' (we were 10-0 up). I also scored the 'lucky bounce' try which did not actually bounce into my hands - your winger/full back messed up and I hacked it on.All good, solid, Daily Mail style reporting! Looking forward to the return game in better conditions when we'll see whether you've made it into the 'superb outfit' you undoubtedly are!All good fun - see you at the rematch.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007 - 01:00 PM

The Missing Match Report??

2007-12-03T21:49:00.000Z

Buxton 3rd Xv 10pts Didsbury Toc H 24 pts.

THIRDS played hosts to Toc H, in difficult conditions at Sunnyfields. Buxton had made several changes, but despite this, put in a creditable performance against a well organised team, writes Carl Scrimshaw.
Right from the start, it was obvious that Toc H were going to have a torrid time in the scrummage. Every scrum went Buxtons way. Toc were in serious bother, and their faces showed the trouble they were in. Buxton had the best of the early exchanges, with some strong running from P Taylor and his partner B B Cavannah. Their direct approach was an inspiration the rest of the team. S Smedley, returning at loose head, showed that he had worked on his upper body strength during his long lay off, swatting away tacklers who got too close. P Preece was at his best, linking with G Stratford at fly half who kept the visitors guessing with some long range kicking. It was, however, a fortunate bounce which gifted Toc H their first score, after Buxton looked the more likely to register. Toc's second was a well worked score utilising a well worked overlap. Buxtons back were always on the look out for a chance to march up field. J Dawson and G Ritchie were cool in attack and stoic in defence. Buxton raised the tempo and camped on Toc's 22m line. Skipper C Allen piled over the line to score after several phases of interplay. D Poulter and C Scrimshaw provided a superb platform for Preece to exploit. T Charles was imperious in the line out, linking with Hooker, Scrimshaw winning all of his own ball, and a substantial amount of the visitors too. After the break, Toc scored in the corner after finding a gap on the blind side. This galvanised Buxton, who played the rest of the game in full on attack mode. N Bennison was difficult for Toc to pin down. His superb running lines fixed the defenders to the spot. T Edge was playing well, crashing deep into Toc's midfield. The introduction of G Nichols and Seth mixed things up a little, as did the intro
duction of Mike Towell and Matt Slimming. Slimming added a new dimension with some superb place kicking. K Mike Barber started off a move, supported by D Poulter, who drove for the touch line. A desperate series of tackles gifted Buxton several penalties. Marching ever forward, Preece, unselfishly slipped the ball to the awaiting hands of S Smedley; he took his opportunity diving over to bring Buxton into striking distance. More points looked inevitable, but Toc used their experience to run the clock down, frustrating Buxton, who finished the game the better team. Buxton thirds have the makings of a superb outfit; and with a bit more awareness they will be a force to reckon with.
THIRDS: - D Poulter, C Scrimshaw, S Smedley, B B Cavannah, P Taylor, T Charles, M Barber, C Allen ©, M Towell, P Preece, G Stratford, J Dawson, G Ritchie, Seth, G Nichols, N Bennison, M Slimming, T Edge

Never Mind the Reports

2007-12-02T23:20:00.000Z

Sod the reports, I am having enough problems trying to get a game to be written about. If anybody has any ideas drop me a line. CMC

Lack of Match reports

2007-11-30T23:36:00.000Z

So where is it then? Getting William "the Bard" Scrimi to write the match report is all very well but we should read it first ,unsullied by the repressive and sexually backward advertiser, on here first. I blame Captain my Captain. Or Wayne Dilworth.

2007-11-25T22:15:00.000Z

A few pics of a recent visit to Italy by 3rd team old farts

2007-11-25T22:05:00.000Z

CENSORED!

2007-11-16T22:43:00.000Z

I believe the blue pencil of censorship has been applied to our match report. Do we know any lawyers?

Arse

2007-11-12T21:27:00.000Z

I heard Wayne was very impressed with his arse until he found it wasn't his !!

Thirds deserve more in physical contest

2007-11-12T20:58:00.000Z

Aldwinians 20 Buxton 7

Another improved performance away from home saw the thirds battling all the way against a strong physical Aldwinians fifteen. In the end the scoreline flattered the home side who used nine substitutes to subdue the thirds. Buxton began by playing into the elements and the opening exchanges were nip and tuck. Both sides had scoring opportunities. Aldwinians were quicker to the breakdown however and they began to establish territorial dominance. Using the tactic of picking and driving from the rucks they launched a series of attacks on the Buxton line. The thirds close quarter defence was up to the task. The back row of Bosely, Allen and Charles worked tirelessly to stem the flow, helped by some shuddering hits by Cavanagh, whilst Poole and Weston scythed down anything outwide. Eventually though they threw the ball wide and found space to score a well worked try. With Buxton shading the battle upfront they began to gain possession. Ball retention though not good enough was greatly improved and Edge and Dilworth did sterling work on the floor securing loose ball. The lineout remained an enigma for most of the afternoon as Aldwinians seemed able to second guess the calls but some cunning linguistic alterations improved things and Charles got a flow of ball going. Some great organisation and driving work by the forwards made big gains as they drove up field only for the momentum to be lost by some unlucky decisions. A new half back combination saw the young and the old combine as Preece linked up with the youthful Hancock. The added pace gave the backs an edge and Poole and Weston took advantage of the space but could not create the overlap. A penalty before half time eased Aldwinians further ahead but the game was still for the taking. A number of substitutions including a new look front row was countered by Buxton’s resolve. Despite Uprichard and Fussell both carrying injuries they used their experience to disrupt the Aldwinians scrum and give Buxton a clear advantage in the scrums. Another penalty to Aldwinians seemed to have put the game beyond Buxton but they came out fighting. With Bosley acting as a one man battering ram, he smashed a hole in the defence. The wily Charles drew his man and put the flying Bennison in space. He burnt off the cover and scored beneath the posts. Charles calmly slotted the extras. A reinvigorated Buxton, sensing a win threw everything at Aldwinians. Dawson replaced the hard working Ritchie. Tarbuck who had an excellent debut on the wing pulled of a great tackle to turn defence into attack but despite the endeavour it all came to nothing as Aldwinians won turnover ball at the breakdown and a good piece of interplay took them sixty metres to score the decisive try. Buxton battled to the end and can be justly proud of the way that they played. The thirds played with pride and passion and deserved more. Things are improving game by game and with a little self belief and improved fitness the wins will come.

Buxton were: Edge, Uprichard, Fussell, Dilworth, Cavanagh, Bosely, Allen, Charles, Preece, Hancock, Ritchie (Dawson 45m) Weston, Poole, Tarbuck, Bennison

Apres Match

Twat in the hat - Well it had to be Mr Dilworth, though it would have been a joint award if Mr Bosley had been in court.

Man of the Match - Ex Captain my Ex Captain. Because its funny when he is very drunk.

Literacy Hour - Mr Charles and Mr Dilworth, for both not knowing how Enigma is spelt thus cocking up their jumping in the lineout.

Scrooge of the day goes to Sleepy for bringing 2 biscuits wraped in cling film as his contribution to the hamper we are collecting for for charity.

The whole team send their best wishes to Mr Bearman who was struck down by Man Flu hours before kick off and had to be rushed from the golf course to his bed. (Probably)

Whose Arse?

2007-11-07T11:02:00.000Z

Whose arse is this? Winner will receive a lesson on how not to fall on a ball as somebody is about to kick it!

Thirds go down fighting 31-7 to Heaton Moor

2007-11-04T12:35:00.001Z

After the lacklustre performance last week, the thirds produced a much grittier and determined display. If they could have kept the momentum going that they had built up in the first half to bring the scores to 12-7 then they could have gone on to win. As it was they ran out of steam and direction and in the end the score line did not reflect the effort that the thirds brought to the game.

Things began ominously however. Playing into a strong wind, some poor defence gifted Heaton Moor a couple of early tries and the flood gates threatened to open. Skipper Allen stiffened the resolve with some well chosen words and the fight back began. The front five laid down the platform, disrupting Moors ball and easily winning their own, but it was in the lineout in the first half that Buxton did damage. In difficult conditions Uprichards throwing was pinpoint accurate, with Dilworth and Charles claiming the lions share. On the Moor throw in Cavanagh at the back cleaned up and launched a series of drives at the heart of the Moor defence. Anything thrown to the front of the lineout was disrupted by Uprichard. With plentiful possession Buxton were able to establish some field position. From a lineout the pack marched Moor back thirty yards. Graham playing out of position used all his years of experience to create some space and Poole found Cliff Edge who pirouetted like a ballerina before executing an a la seconde and gliding gracefully over the line. Charles added the conversion and the thirds were back in the game.

The second half began poorly and the Thirds gifted Moor another simple try. Determined not to lie down they continued to fight. Bearman had his best game in the loose for a while running into defenders whilst man of the match Cavanagh was outstanding, either in defence or in dragging Buxton out of trouble with some powerful running. Weston and Cliff Edge combined well in the centres and Allen showed a touch of class with a neat sidestep and a turn of speed that made twenty metres. Ritchie and Gyte before injury forced him off were solid in defence. Rose and Dilworth made their presence felt in defence and attack, whilst Fussell and Charles cleaned up a lot of loose ball. As the clock ran down and the Thirds tried to run the ball from anywhere a comedy of errors gifted Moor another try and any chance of a fight back was lost. In the final seconds of the game Moor launched a final attack a try seemed certain until Seth pulled off the tackle of the game to stop the score.

At times discipline let the Thirds down and needless penalties were given away which disrupted the momentum, but this was a performance in a different league from the poor effort of last week. There was much to take heart from and if the good things can be sustained for more than twenty minutes then the Thirds will start to win again.

Buxton were – Bearman, Uprichard, Rose, Cavanagh, Fussell, Dilworth, Charles, Allen, Graham, Poole, Ritchie, Cliff Edge, Weston, D Gyte, Seth

Apres Match

Man of the Match James "Big Bird" Cavanagh. Awesome performance

Twat in the Hat Captain my Captain, for telling us that he had won the toss and that we were going to play down the hill and with the wind. Imagine our confusion when we found we were playing up the hill and into the wind. Well bless him he is only a Geographer.

Most ridiculous penalty Mr Graham. For sarcasm. Sarcasm! Howard sarcastic! Don't be ridiculous.

Whilst we are on the subject of referees, a word from the wise. There is not much point walking away from the referee and shouting I can't F***ing hear you. He is ilkely to lose his patience and feel around in his pockets for his little yellow card. Don't expect to get away with it a second time, you know who you are.

Strangest object found in kit bag. We will leave that to Mr Poole to explain. These backs though, its all true what they say. The moral of the tale is not to let the Beer monster wash your kit.

Lacklustre Thirds lose to Burnage

2007-10-29T09:23:00.000Z

Buxton 5, Burnage 31

This was a lacklustre and at times spineless performance by the thirds. Their attitude was exemplified by the opening moments of the game when Burnage’s kick failed to make the ten metres. Buxton stood still waiting for the referee to give them the option of a scrum back or the kick off again. The ref did not blow straight away and as Buxton ambled towards the centre for the scrum the Burnage loose head picked up the ball and ran at empty space. Fortunately for the Thirds the ref had spotted the miss kick and eventually blew up in favour for a Buxton scrum but it set the tone for much of the game. The saving grace was the attitude of the young guns that to a man gave outstanding performances whilst their older more experienced peers took the afternoon off. Simon Hodson who scored Buxton’s only try was a beacon of effort and courage and Matt Austin playing out of position in the centre looked like a veteran requiring two or three defenders to take him down. Nick Ritchie was tireless in running out of defence and Ben and Gaz played their hearts out when they were given the opportunity. Apart from the effort and endeavour of the youngsters nothing really seemed to go right for the thirds. Some of the decisions were difficult to fathom. Dilworth leaked penalties only because he was omnipresent and always in the thick of it. Ali Bearman had his best game in open play, running at the heart of the Burnage defence all afternoon but even he was frustrated by some of the decisions. The Buxton scrum had its moments but crucially having won all its own set piece and taken two against the head contrived to lose one against the head twenty meters from the line allowing Burnage to score. That and an unfortunate miss kick just after half time that gifted Burnage a seven pointer swung the game.

The try came form the best passage of play that the thirds strung together. Charles and Bosley drove up field, and ran into traffic. The ball was recycled quickly Cavanagh took the ball on and off loaded to Hodson who first glided then smashed his way over. A the second half progressed so the thirds gave glimpses of how they can play. Gyte bulldozed his way through a few defenders, Bosley made some powerful runs, Poole made a couple of half breaks and Graham and Preece used all their experience to try and set things going. Taylor put himself about effectively until an ankle injury forced him off, but there was not enough urgency and in the end Burnage wanted the game more.

Buxton were; Rose, Fussell, Bearman, Cavanagh, Taylor, Bosely (R Sole), Dilworth, Charles, Preece, Stratford, N Ritchie, Graham, Weston, Ritchie, Hodson, Bennison, Austin, Gyte, Henderson, Henlan,Ben and Gaz

Apres Match

Man of the Match - Simon Hodson

Twat in the Hat - Could have been one from many, but it was Pooley by a short head.

Quote of the Day - "Your're a fucking arsehole" the ref to Brendan.

I heard

2007-10-22T20:40:00.000Z

I heard that Dale McNicholas cried off on the Tuesday before the game because he had a cold. I heard that he was spotted in the Royal Oak in Chapel at the weekend looking pink and healthy.

I heard that Tim Charles devised a new penalty move and explained it to everyone before the game. I heard that in showing the players how it was done he fell flat on his face.

I heard that Mike Barber was playing. I heard that Mike Barber lost his temper with their smallest player and was sent to the Creche for ten minutes to cool down.

I heard that Tim Charles has been having boxing lessons down at Village Spartans. I heard that during the match he unleashed a gay slap at one of the Stockport players. I heard that Sir laughed so much that he forgot to send him to the the sin bin.

I heard that Geoff has been watching to much rugby on tele. I heard that he took a quick throw in to himself five metres from his own line. I heard that things didn't work out to well.

I heard that Captain our Captain can't count. I heard that he thought Buxton were two points ahead when they scored the final try. I heard he told TC not to worry about his kick. (That's what TC is saying anyway)

I heard that Gytie had to order court back into session. I heard that he was not happy about the quality of the Jack Daniels that a certain traffic cop had brought with him. I heard that when asked to taste it Scottie said straight away "its tastes of piss". I heard that Mr Scrimshaw confessed that it was piss he had collected from his dog. I heard that he was made to drink it.

Sounds like a great day, I'm only sorry I missed it.

England vs South Africa, disallowed try

2007-10-22T18:10:00.001Z

Judge for yourself. Does anyone know Dickinson's address?

Kenny Rogers - The Gambler

2007-10-17T20:50:00.001Z

Is this the next English Rugby Anthem?

How to Shower: Women vs. Men

2007-10-17T20:14:00.001Z

A little bit of light entertainment before saturday nights tension.