I heard

I heard that Dale McNicholas cried off on the Tuesday before the game because he had a cold. I heard that he was spotted in the Royal Oak in Chapel at the weekend looking pink and healthy.

I heard that Tim Charles devised a new penalty move and explained it to everyone before the game. I heard that in showing the players how it was done he fell flat on his face.

I heard that Mike Barber was playing. I heard that Mike Barber lost his temper with their smallest player and was sent to the Creche for ten minutes to cool down.

I heard that Tim Charles has been having boxing lessons down at Village Spartans. I heard that during the match he unleashed a gay slap at one of the Stockport players. I heard that Sir laughed so much that he forgot to send him to the the sin bin.

I heard that Geoff has been watching to much rugby on tele. I heard that he took a quick throw in to himself five metres from his own line. I heard that things didn't work out to well.

I heard that Captain our Captain can't count. I heard that he thought Buxton were two points ahead when they scored the final try. I heard he told TC not to worry about his kick. (That's what TC is saying anyway)

I heard that Gytie had to order court back into session. I heard that he was not happy about the quality of the Jack Daniels that a certain traffic cop had brought with him. I heard that when asked to taste it Scottie said straight away "its tastes of piss". I heard that Mr Scrimshaw confessed that it was piss he had collected from his dog. I heard that he was made to drink it.

Sounds like a great day, I'm only sorry I missed it.