So where is it then? Getting William "the Bard" Scrimi to write the match report is all very well but we should read it first ,unsullied by the repressive and sexually backward advertiser, on here first. I blame Captain my Captain. Or Wayne Dilworth.
I believe the blue pencil of censorship has been applied to our match report. Do we know any lawyers?
Aldwinians 20 Buxton 7
Another improved performance away from home saw the thirds battling all the way against a strong physical Aldwinians fifteen. In the end the scoreline flattered the home side who used nine substitutes to subdue the thirds. Buxton began by playing into the elements and the opening exchanges were nip and tuck. Both sides had scoring opportunities. Aldwinians were quicker to the breakdown however and they began to establish territorial dominance. Using the tactic of picking and driving from the rucks they launched a series of attacks on the Buxton line. The thirds close quarter defence was up to the task. The back row of Bosely, Allen and Charles worked tirelessly to stem the flow, helped by some shuddering hits by Cavanagh, whilst Poole and Weston scythed down anything outwide. Eventually though they threw the ball wide and found space to score a well worked try. With Buxton shading the battle upfront they began to gain possession. Ball retention though not good enough was greatly improved and Edge and Dilworth did sterling work on the floor securing loose ball. The lineout remained an enigma for most of the afternoon as Aldwinians seemed able to second guess the calls but some cunning linguistic alterations improved things and Charles got a flow of ball going. Some great organisation and driving work by the forwards made big gains as they drove up field only for the momentum to be lost by some unlucky decisions. A new half back combination saw the young and the old combine as Preece linked up with the youthful Hancock. The added pace gave the backs an edge and Poole and Weston took advantage of the space but could not create the overlap. A penalty before half time eased Aldwinians further ahead but the game was still for the taking. A number of substitutions including a new look front row was countered by Buxton’s resolve. Despite Uprichard and Fussell both carrying injuries they used their experience to disrupt the Aldwinians scrum and give Buxton a clear advantage in the scrums. Another penalty to Aldwinians seemed to have put the game beyond Buxton but they came out fighting. With Bosley acting as a one man battering ram, he smashed a hole in the defence. The wily Charles drew his man and put the flying Bennison in space. He burnt off the cover and scored beneath the posts. Charles calmly slotted the extras. A reinvigorated Buxton, sensing a win threw everything at Aldwinians. Dawson replaced the hard working Ritchie. Tarbuck who had an excellent debut on the wing pulled of a great tackle to turn defence into attack but despite the endeavour it all came to nothing as Aldwinians won turnover ball at the breakdown and a good piece of interplay took them sixty metres to score the decisive try. Buxton battled to the end and can be justly proud of the way that they played. The thirds played with pride and passion and deserved more. Things are improving game by game and with a little self belief and improved fitness the wins will come.
Buxton were: Edge, Uprichard, Fussell, Dilworth, Cavanagh, Bosely, Allen, Charles, Preece, Hancock, Ritchie (Dawson 45m) Weston, Poole, Tarbuck, Bennison
Apres Match
Twat in the hat - Well it had to be Mr Dilworth, though it would have been a joint award if Mr Bosley had been in court.
Man of the Match - Ex Captain my Ex Captain. Because its funny when he is very drunk.
Literacy Hour - Mr Charles and Mr Dilworth, for both not knowing how Enigma is spelt thus cocking up their jumping in the lineout.
Scrooge of the day goes to Sleepy for bringing 2 biscuits wraped in cling film as his contribution to the hamper we are collecting for for charity.
The whole team send their best wishes to Mr Bearman who was struck down by Man Flu hours before kick off and had to be rushed from the golf course to his bed. (Probably)
Whose arse is this? Winner will receive a lesson on how not to fall on a ball as somebody is about to kick it!
After the lacklustre performance last week, the thirds produced a much grittier and determined display. If they could have kept the momentum going that they had built up in the first half to bring the scores to 12-7 then they could have gone on to win. As it was they ran out of steam and direction and in the end the score line did not reflect the effort that the thirds brought to the game.
Things began ominously however. Playing into a strong wind, some poor defence gifted Heaton Moor a couple of early tries and the flood gates threatened to open. Skipper Allen stiffened the resolve with some well chosen words and the fight back began. The front five laid down the platform, disrupting Moors ball and easily winning their own, but it was in the lineout in the first half that Buxton did damage. In difficult conditions Uprichards throwing was pinpoint accurate, with Dilworth and Charles claiming the lions share. On the Moor throw in Cavanagh at the back cleaned up and launched a series of drives at the heart of the Moor defence. Anything thrown to the front of the lineout was disrupted by Uprichard. With plentiful possession Buxton were able to establish some field position. From a lineout the pack marched Moor back thirty yards. Graham playing out of position used all his years of experience to create some space and Poole found Cliff Edge who pirouetted like a ballerina before executing an a la seconde and gliding gracefully over the line. Charles added the conversion and the thirds were back in the game.
The second half began poorly and the Thirds gifted Moor another simple try. Determined not to lie down they continued to fight. Bearman had his best game in the loose for a while running into defenders whilst man of the match Cavanagh was outstanding, either in defence or in dragging Buxton out of trouble with some powerful running. Weston and Cliff Edge combined well in the centres and Allen showed a touch of class with a neat sidestep and a turn of speed that made twenty metres. Ritchie and Gyte before injury forced him off were solid in defence. Rose and Dilworth made their presence felt in defence and attack, whilst Fussell and Charles cleaned up a lot of loose ball. As the clock ran down and the Thirds tried to run the ball from anywhere a comedy of errors gifted Moor another try and any chance of a fight back was lost. In the final seconds of the game Moor launched a final attack a try seemed certain until Seth pulled off the tackle of the game to stop the score.
At times discipline let the Thirds down and needless penalties were given away which disrupted the momentum, but this was a performance in a different league from the poor effort of last week. There was much to take heart from and if the good things can be sustained for more than twenty minutes then the Thirds will start to win again.
Buxton were – Bearman, Uprichard, Rose, Cavanagh, Fussell, Dilworth, Charles, Allen, Graham, Poole, Ritchie, Cliff Edge, Weston, D Gyte, Seth
Apres Match
Man of the Match James "Big Bird" Cavanagh. Awesome performance
Twat in the Hat Captain my Captain, for telling us that he had won the toss and that we were going to play down the hill and with the wind. Imagine our confusion when we found we were playing up the hill and into the wind. Well bless him he is only a Geographer.
Most ridiculous penalty Mr Graham. For sarcasm. Sarcasm! Howard sarcastic! Don't be ridiculous.
Whilst we are on the subject of referees, a word from the wise. There is not much point walking away from the referee and shouting I can't F***ing hear you. He is ilkely to lose his patience and feel around in his pockets for his little yellow card. Don't expect to get away with it a second time, you know who you are.
Strangest object found in kit bag. We will leave that to Mr Poole to explain. These backs though, its all true what they say. The moral of the tale is not to let the Beer monster wash your kit.
